Secrets Of Black Veil Brides
by Lenora Finch
Summary: Roxy finds herself getting to know black veil brides. She thinks she has problems, but soon finds out that each member has a secret of their own that only other band members know...  Rated M mainly for language...
1. Chapter 1

**During the concert**

I jumped in the crowd, pumping my arm in time with the music. I turned to see my friend Posy doing the same. We were at the front of the mosh pit in the concert.

"One final fight for this tonight. Woah….." Andy said running over to our side of the stage.

Me and Posy screamed, and stopped singing along. We reached out our hands and he brushed them briefly along with a load of other giggling girls and (what I think were) gay men (not sure if they were gay, but they looked and seemed it!)

He held the mic out to the crowd and we all sang in unison "With knives and pens we made our plight. Well I can't go on without your love you lost you never held on…."

"We tried our best turn out the light. Turn out the light!" he screamo screamed into the mic and the song was over.

He got off his knees (and by 'he' I mean Andy!) and stood up.

"I just wanna thank you all for comin here tonight. We love you guys so much and, y'know we wouldn't be here without you! We gotta get off the set now, so my leaving words to all you guys are 'never give in. And next time someone takes the piss out of you for being who you are say 'FUCK YOU!' Lemme hear ya say it!" He yelled and thrust the mic into the crowd.

"FUCK YOU!" We all screamed back.

"I can't fuckin hear you New Jersey!" He yelled

"**FUCK YOU!"**We yelled.

He smiled.

"Thank you, you've been a fantastic crowd. We'll see you guys later!" he yelled and all of Black Veil Brides ran to the front of the stage throwing things out at us. Andy was throwing out t-shirts, Sandra was throwing out her signed drum sticks, and Ashley Purdey and Jinxx were throwing out pics.

I whirled my hands in the air as a pic whirled at me and shut my eyes, hoping. I opened them and Posy was nudging me and screaming.

"You got one!" I heard vaguely from in-between all the other screaming people. I looked in my palm and there was a signed Jinxx pic.

I felt someone's eyes burning on me and looked around to find the culprit. After a while of searching I gave up, and was too ecstatic to care!

...

**Backstage**

"Right. You got the plan straight?" Posy asked.

"Yup!" I replied, more excited than I'd ever been in my life.

"Okay, I get the t-shirts, albums and overall merch signed and you go and-"

I kicked her sternly as one of the bouncers strolled passed.

"You go and…. Do you stuff….." Posy said, being her usual silly self.

This was just the thickest plan ever!

I gave her a quick hug before running out into the cool night air.

_Tour bus… Tour bus…._ I thought – _AHAH!_

I ran towards the nearest bus.

After surveying it, I was definitely sure it was a black veil bride's bus.

I tried the door but (obviously) it was locked.

Right. Time for my next trick.

Ever since pre-school I had been exceptionally talented at picking locks. I got the mini torch out of my pocket and studied the lock type.

_Hmmm. Need's a thin, delicate, bendy thing….._

I opened up my bag.

_Hm…._

I rummaged through.

My findings consisted of:

A Paper Clip

A hair grip

Some scissors (could be potentially useful)

I tried the paper clip but it was brittle and snapped while I was trying to unbend it.

The hair grip was too wiggly…

That leaves using the scissors… but what on?

I had a (not so) bright idea. I took off my bra and cut out the underwire. (Obviously I put it back on after that!).

I measured it against the lock and cut it to a good size then drop the rest on the floor.

It fit perfectly and I twisted and moulded it in the lock until I got a satisfying click.

**On the bus**

I searched through the drawers to find a spare key. Nope… guess I was gonna have to lock it from the inside with my bra wire too.

Just then I heard footsteps.

I had been rooting around the bus for at least an hour!

I ran, flustered.

"Hey, man, look. My doors open. Fuck I hope they haven't stolen anything!" I heard from outside.

Without thinking I headed for the nearest corner and found a blanket there. Then I hid behind a sofa and covered myself with the blanket.

I tried to steady my breathing, but couldn't. I was out of breath with nerves and I felt like this whole thing was wrong and awful… well it was!

Where was Posy anyway?

Maybe she had decided not to come-

The door was pushed opened.

"Don't think they took anything – the whole place looks untouched!" called the voice to outside the tour bus.

I shrank as far back as I could into the wall and wished I could disappear.

The bus engine roared into life and it started moving. I felt sick! What about Posy? Where the hell was I going?


	2. Chapter 2

**A Sudden Stop**

After about half an hour of travelling, the bus stopped.

I wondered where we were – my head was hidden by the blanket, so I couldn't see.

…

I woke up to hear people chatting and laughing. There was a faint sound of strumming on the guitar.

"Ha-ha! Yeah. I remember that. You were so scared… I thought you were gonna die…." Andy said dryly. I felt like I was gonna vomit – I was so hungry(I hadn't eaten for 5 and a half days), and I was nervous because of all this!

I thought of Posy. What were my parents going to say? –

"We're born into the night like children of the da_"

I rummaged through my bag panicked and switched it off, which was then followed by the standard Nokia tune.

FUCK! I had just completely blown my cover!

"Hey, guys, did you hear that?" I heard Sandra say.

"Yeah. It was Children's Surrender…" Said Ashley.

I heard footsteps. They grew closer, stopped… then turned back and went the other way.

I nearly sighed aloud when I realised where I was –

"_ACHOO!"_ I sneezed loudly and heard people jump up and someone yelled "HOLY SHIT!"

I could have laughed if I wasn't on the verge of tears!

**Discovered**

I felt a hand close over the top of the blanket and rip it off.

My head was hung low, as I was still desperately trying to hide!

Boots, Skinnies, Black Shirt, Black hair, Blue eyes – NO WAY!

Andy gasped.

"What. The. Fuck." Jinxx said.

"You're the girl from the concert." Andy said.

After ages of awkward silence. I stood up, shakily.

I swayed and grabbed onto the table Id been hiding behind!

"Hey, man, are you okay?" Sandra asked.

"Yeah, im_" Before I knew it, my knees buckled and everything blacked out.

**...**

My eyes fluttered.

I looked at my surroundings. Where the hell was i?

I sat up. I felt dizzy.

"Hey, kid. Welcome back." Sandra said.

I jumped.

Yep. Now I remember what was happening.

"Listen. Im so sorry, I didn't mean to break in and everything, I mean, me and my friend were going to hop in and say hi and that was it and_"

"What's you name?" she asked. She was surprisingly calm about this.

"…Roxanne…" I said. "OR Roxy for short… I prefer that…"

"We're half way across the states now, so we can't exactly give you a lift home, or anything. Do you have any money? You could get a train or something…."

"No… I don't have any money – please don't make me go home!" I cried suddenly. I didn't want to go home. My Mom and Dad were in the middle of a split up and Dad was violent as hell. My Mom didn't care about me at all and my Dad wished I was dead.

"C'mon, you can't stay here, you're parents will be, like, calling the cops or whatever."

"They wouldn't care if I died." I said bitterly.

"Hey, you don't mean that."

"No, I do. They actually told me that once…."

Andy came into the room. I was guessing that we were in a hotel somewhere.

"What day is it today?" I asked.

"Sunday…" Andy said. "We're not doing a show tonight or for a week Monday."

_Of Course!_ I thought. _It was just a short holiday that we got off, so im meant to be back at school tomorrow…. Shit…_

"Who are you anyway?" He asked.

"Im Roxy. Im so sorry for all this." I said, and tried getting out of my bed.

I put one foot on the floor and tried putting weight on it – I collapsed in a helpless heap on the floor.

"Dude…." Sandra said coming to help me up.

"So what's the deal with all this blacking out, and collapsing?" She said helping me back onto one of the beds. "Holy, shit, your thin!"

She grabbed my wrist and wrapped her fingers round it. She could get her thumb and little finger to meet and overlap… by far…

She looked up at me. "You want some food?" she asked.

"No Im not hungry." I said as my stomach grumbled loudly.

I felt awful.

"Right I'm getting you some food, your ringing up your parents and telling them what the hell's going on and I'll be back in a moment." She said.

She seemed a little pissed – well hardly surprising since id broken into their bus, and they'd driven me half way across the United States!

She left the room and shut the door.

I looked up at Andy.

He was looking at me from across the room.

"Im so sorry." I said half to myself. I felt like an ultra-douche.

"S'okay. I'm not the one with the problem." He said and smiled at me.

"Um… What?" What the hell was that supposed to mean?

"You." He said lighting up a cigarette. "You're anorexic." He said.

"How'd you know?" I asked.

"I can see your bones. You keep fainting and you can barely stand – you clearly haven't eaten in ages."

I looked down at the carpeted floor.

"I can stand fine." I said and attempted standing again. I could – I was still shaky, but I could stand.

I needed my bag…which was on the other side of the room.

"Can you walk okay?" he asked.

"Uh-huh." I said and began walking. It was hard at first, but I tried it faster. I went faster and faster and –

"Shit, dude, im so sorry!" I yelped helplessly. I had just fallen again, but he had caught me.

"No problem." He said.

I looked at the burning pain in my arm and saw that I had burnt it on his cigarette… in fact it had burnt through my hoody…

"Let me look at that." Andy said.

"It's fine." I said, not wanting him to roll up my sleeves.

"Okay, then, let me look at it." He challenged.

He tried pulling my sleeve up, but I struggled until he gave up.

"Here. You sit down, I'll get your bag." He said.

He brought over my bag. I thanked him and got my phone out.

I turned it on and began dialling my home number when he grabbed my arm and shoved up the sleeve.

"Hey!" I yelped in protest.

He took a good look at my arm.

I tried pulling it away, but he had a firm grip and wouldn't let go.

"Stop."

He said.

"Stop what?" I asked dumbly, but I was already pissed off and embarrassed.

"Stop doing that to your wrists." He said.

I pulled my wrists away, and this time he let go.

I looked down. "Don't tell them…" I muttered.

"Tell who?" he asked lighting up another cigarette.

"Anyone." I said.

"I won't." He said looking up at me with his piercing eyes. "I'd hate it if people told my secrets."

I wondered what he meant by that, but I brushed it away and began re-dialling the number.

"Hello?" Came my Mother's voice.

"Hi, Mom."

"Urgh." She didn't hide her displeasure. "Didn't come home, did you, ya little fuck."

I looked up at Andy – my phone was on speaker phone.

"So, what's the deal? Did you get shacked up or something? Wouldn't surprise me you little tramp!"

"No, I didn't." I said. "I stowed away in a tour bus_"

"YOU WHAT?"

"I'm… okay. Im fine. I_"  
"I don't care! You ran away from us?"

"No, Mom_"  
"SHUT UP! You… YOU… Ungrateful….. you… ran away from us… knowing I would be worried – did you even think of us? No. Of course you didn't – you thought it was just okay to _"

"Mom. C'mon, I was just saying that im okay_"

"No. I've had enough of this shit! You know what? Y'know im just not gonna… You can find somewhere else to live because you're not welcome here. Come by and pick up your stuff when you can." She said and the line went dead.

I blinked.

Andy was staring at me.

"Well… I called them up…" I said, not too sure what to say.

Just then Sandra came through the door. "I got take-out!" she said and stopped in the doorway. "…Okay, what happened…?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Take-Out**

I sat miserably at the hotel table in Ashley and Jinxx's room. I only picked at my food.

"So, what's the deal, kid? Your parents kick you out?" Jinxx began, but was stopped by a short blow in the ribs from Sandra's elbow.

It was awkward. I should have been hungry as hell… well I was…. But I just couldn't eat – every mouthful threatened to come back up.

I pushed my paper plate away. Andy looked up and I rested my head in my hands.

"Well if your not going to eat that, then I wi_"

Sandra looked at Ashley and he shut up and continued with his own food.

"I thought you'd be hungry" Sandra said.

"Sorry…" I said. "No, im okay. Here – you have it" I said and scraped my food on to Ashley's plate. He looked like he just won the lottery, and began tucking in fast.

"You've got to eat." Andy said and looked at me straight on.

"Hey, man, don't ask me to give it back!" Ashley joked.

"Nah. Have some of mine." Andy said, still looking at me.

"No, im really_" Suddenly I felt the piercing intensity of his blue eyes. I felt like I wanted to eat. _Im hungry…. SO hungry!_ I thought.

Andy put some food on my plate. "Thanks." I said. "Im starving!"

I tucked in and ate every last bite!

**The Room Situation**

"I'm having my own room this time – you guys agreed …" Sandra began.

"Me and Jinxx are sharing a room – Jinxx promised me a Halo match… im so gonna kick his ass…." Ashley started. "Ha-ha! That leaves you and Andy!" Ashley said laughing…

I looked at Andy… then back at the floor… I thought I might die – in fact I wished I would!

After a long time of silence I said desperately "Hey, if I get a job – I can pay for my own room – I don't have much money, but….."

I couldn't finish… I didn't know what was going on!

"It's fine." Andy said. "I don't mind…. You don't, right?"

"Oh, no – im just happy that I have somewhere to stay for the night!"

We all departed and went for our rooms. I couldn't believe it – I was here… and…

The door shut.

"Uhh…which bed can I have?" I asked.

"Dunno… whichever you want, I guess"

"OK…." I said and made my way to the one closest to the window.

I climbed on it. I put my hands behind my head (still sitting up) and raised one knee towards my chest.

I yawned. I was SO tired.

I began to climb underneath the covers, when I felt someone's eyes on me.

I looked up. Andy. He was leaning against the door with one foot propped against it. He was smoking another cigarette.

I didn't know what to say, so I just opened up and hoped something would come out! "Goodnight, Andy."

He chuckled to himself, a faint chuckle, smiling slightly. "Night, Roxy."

**Blood?**

I screamed and screamed, louder and louder. My eyes opened, and I automatically sat up. I gasped and felt a cold hand on mine.

Tears were running down my face and I looked around the room. Andy was beside my bed.

I blinked. "Shit, im so sorry – I didn't wake you up, did i?" I said, trying to hold back the tears that were still rolling down my face.

"Uhh… Yeah, but are you okay?" He said.

I stared up at him – I was only half sitting up, you know when that happens and its almost like doing a half sit up!

"Im… Im fine – listen im so_"

"You're bleeding…" he said.

"Uhh…What?"

"Your arm. Its bleeding, you must have hit it off something." I looked down – it was bleeding everywhere! It must have bled again, after I had cut it, after I had made that phone call.

I began to squeeze it, but the whole length of my fore-arm was sliced open!

I ran my finger along it, playing with the blood a little.

Andy looked away. "Sorry." I said. "Are you squeamish?"

"No." Andy said.

My blood ran on the bed sheets.

"I told you not to do that to your arms." He said.

I looked down, ashamed at what I had done after the phone call.

"Im…sorry…" I began, to find him running his own finger across my arm. He squeezed it a little.

"Andy, what are you_"

His mouth enclosed around my arm, and he began sucking at it.

I began laughing. "C'mon, stop fooling around!"

He looked up. His face was stern with an ambition I had never seen before. Blood dripped from his lips on to the shirt I had been wearing. (A purple and black leopard print corset… well like a corset, but instead of lace to do it up, there was a zip in the front.)

"Andy….?"

He pulled me to my feet and held my arm up to his mouth (I was only up to his chin!).

He let my arm fall back to my side. He then took me by the waist with his right hand, and brushed my hair away from my neck with his left hand.

"Andy, what are you_"  
He brought his head down to my neck. His lips brushed against my skin and I shivered.

His mouth now opened and I felt his warm mouth. For a moment I thought he was giving me a love bite (which I thought was a bit strange considering I didn't really know him), but I got a bite a bit harder than I expected!

Just then he pierced my flesh with his teeth and a sharp pain filled me for a few seconds.

Then he began drinking. My whole body quivered in ecstasy and I let out a faint moan.

After he had finished he licked up the wounds he had made and they sealed almost immediately. I felt drained.

I fell back on to his bed, completely stunned. I gasped for air.

Andy just stood in the middle of the room.

After a few long seconds that seemed to last an eternity, I finally spoke up. "andy…?" My voice sounded week and feeble.

He turned, his hand covering his head.

It seemed he wouldn't be saying anything any time soon, so I stole a glance at the clock. 3:13 am, it read.

I stood, but found myself falling. Once again I found Andy holding me up.

My knees trembled. I was scared.

"Roxy." He whispered. "im sorry."

I didn't know what to say – well what could I say?

"Andy, I…."

He looked at me.

"I cant stand." I said. It sounded pathetic, even to me. I couldn't stand, though. I didn't want to say that, I wanted to ask him what the hell just happened, and why he had done it, but I couldn't.

He lifted me up. My head rested in one of his arms, and my legs hung over his other.

"Im so sorry."

"Andy, what happened."

"Shhh. Get some sleep."

"But, Andy Im_" Andy – I feel like im dying! I felt like saying. Once again those intense blue eyes. He began walking. I don't know where to, but I heard the door opening, and the lift going, and… and…

"Im so sorry. Sleep well, Roxy. Sleep forever." He said.

Had he killed me? Was I really dying?

But my eyes shut, and the final thing I felt, was my head being rested on the ground.


	4. Chapter 4

**Awakening**

My eyes fluttered under the moonlight. It must have nearly been 5:00 am. My stomach rumbled.

I creased in pain. My whole body writhed as if I'd been poisoned. The blood running through my veins curdled.

I let out a sharp cry in pain. In fact I shrieked. It was loud and could have curdled the purest blood!

_Hm… BLOOD!_

I couldn't sit up. I lay waiting… waiting for something… Im not sure what, but it seemed like instinct.

Soon the faint rays of dawn brightened up the sky.

A sparrow hopped along the ground in the early morning light. I lay deadly still. It hopped towards me. My hand shot out as fast as lightening and the birds neck snapped instantly. I brought my teeth down on it. Something seemed to shoot out of my gums and pierce the bird. I began drinking. It tasted a little watery, and definitely not flavourful, but at the same time it was comforting and delicious!

After I had finished with the bird, I thought I might as well set it on fire, you know so it wouldn't look weird or anything.

The bird just set alight! That was weird… okay…

I made my way back to the hotel - My bag was still there.

**More Blood**

The receptionist looked up.

"Excuse me. What room is Andy Sixx staying in?"

She looked on the computer. "Im afraid I cant tell you that – he in private booking." I looked into her eyes. I wanted her to listen. I wanted her to obey.

I channelled my own thoughts into her head. _Show her the room number…. Give her a room key…_

"Room 117" she said at last and handed over a room key.

I went up the lift and finally arrived on the right floor.

I slid the key into the lock, and opened the door quietly.

"What do you mean, 'she's gone'?" someone was shouting.

"Look, I just thought I better tell you – goodbye!" Andy's voice was stern and slightly agitated.

I shut the door and he didn't look up. "I told them, Sandra." He said. "They weren't happy."

"Who wasn't happy?" I asked.

He looked up, frowning.

Then he stood up and slowly walked towards me.

"your… You… You died." He was confused.

"Apparently not." I said.

He stared at me for a moment.

"Oh, shit…" he said to himself.

"Huh?" Suddenly I felt awful. I creased in pain. The poisoned feeling kept coming back, but this time it was awful.

My head throbbed and I slid down the door. I could hear the blood rushing and pumping in my head and it made me want to vomit!

My stockings were ripped and I looked a mess.

My eyeliner was smudged and my hair was mottled with my blood, my skirt was ripped too and the under net was fraying, my corset was partly unzipped, so you could see part of my bra. I was a haunting mess, but it looked strangely compelling at the same time.

I let out another scream of pain, this one louder than the last. Andy rushed to my side, and Sandra, Ashley and Jinxx burst through the door.

"What?" Jinxx said. "I thought you were dead!"

I thrust my hand to my chest. It felt like my heart was being ripped out.

"She needs blood." Andy said.

He bit his wrist open and pressed it to my mouth.

"No." I said in protest – I didn't want to hurt him!

He insisted, though, and I drank. His blood was rich and warm and thick.

I automatically felt better. His blood ran from my lips, down my chin, down my neck until it stopped at the lace finish on my bra.

Everyone except Andy looked at me weirdly. He was kneeling on the floor in front of me.

"Wait… So you're a vampire too?" Ashley said finally.

"Im a what?"

"A vampire." Andy said. "You were meant to have been dead, after I drank so much. I didn't mean to, but your blood… its just so…"

"Can I have some more blood?" I interrupted him.

He smiled faintly and put his neck out towards me. I brushed his hair aside and pierced his skin. His blood filled my mouth and I indulged myself.

I then sealed up his skin with my saliva, just like he had done.

He looked up at me with dopey eyes. I could tell I had drank a little too much.

The rest of the band just left the room.

I then offered him some of my blood. Im not sure why I felt obliged – another instinct thing, I guess – or maybe it was because I had drank so much!

He turned so his back was resting against the bathroom wall (Not _in_ the bathroom, just outside… like the normal hotel room set up) and brought one knee to his chest. He positioned me so my head rested against that knee, and my legs went horizontal across left leg.

He took my neck and went straight for my jugular. For a brief moment I thought he was going to drink me dry, but when he drew back I knew he hadn't. He rested his head against the wall.

My head was still resting on his knee. He allowed himself to slide down the wall, and lay on the floor. His knee went flat against the floor and I moved so my head was resting on his stomach.

"What was all that about?" I asked dumbly.

"Blood-sharing…" he said. "Vampires do it when they transform humans into vampires…"

"Have you ever done it before?"

"Only once…" he replied. "Most humans you drink from die, either from shock or blood loss."

I wanted to ask who he had transformed, but I felt awkward.

"So… what happens now…?" I asked.

"I dunno…."

"Wait… I cant still go out in daylight, right?"

He laughed "Yeah – but you gotta get some stuff done, or whatever"

"What kind of stuff?"

"Well I have a tattoo so it doesn't affect me… so you have to get that copied cause I have this one and then you have to have some identical talisman to the one of the person who transformed you…"

"…So how and where are we gonna get that done?"

"Johnny from Get Scared – you know them – he does tattoos, so we could ask him…" then he laughed "Just make sure he doesn't ask you for some weird price!"

I laughed too. "So… The others know?"

"How couldn't they?"

"I dunno….Don't they treat you differently?"

"Nah… They all got secrets too!"

I wanted to ask him what. "I cant tell you…" he said as if he'd read my thoughts.

But how did he –"Telepathy…" he said. "I shared my blood with you, so I can read your thoughts until you block them off from me. You can read mine too… if you want…"

I tried it… but his mind rejected me like two of the same ends on a magnet.

"Im rejecting you right now…" he said.

"So…. Uh… who were you on my phone to?" I asked suddenly remembering that he was on my phone when I walked in.

"Your parents." He said simply.

I laughed "What did they have to say?" I asked not really caring.

"Well… nothing really…."

"Wow… that's a first for them!" I laughed.

"So when do I get this tattoo…"

"I dunno… whenever he can make it over."

I got really excited! I had always liked get scared as well! I also used to have a crush on Johnny from it, and now all those random crushy feelings were coming back!

Andy laughed "You seriously gotta learn to block your thoughts!"


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry if the images I uploaded in this chapter didn't come out! Just imagine!

**A Tattoo**

Sandra came in the room. "So it looks like you'll be staying with us for some time, then, huh?"

"I guess… that's okay, right?"

"Oh, sure!" she said.

"Cool… hey do you know when Johnny's coming?"

I didn't like him anymore… well not like that – I was just sick of staying inside all day!

Ashley came in the room. "So… I heard you like Johnny…"

I looked over at Andy. He shrugged "Couldn't help it" he smirked.

"Brilliant" I groaned jokily.

Sandra giggled. Jinxx came in. "Has anyone seen my underwear? I know I left them around here somewhere!" Jinxx asked.

I looked at him in disbelief. "So… you're not wearing pants…" I said. "Gross!"

He looked down at me and went pink. "Forgot you were here… so have you seen them?"

"Sorry… no…" I said, and got back to sewing up my left stocking.

"Hey…" Ashley said. "You look like you're good at sewing… could you stitch up some of my stuff? There's not much!"

"Yeah, okay!" I was determined to prove myself useful – I wanted to be able to… well earn my keep… if that's the right phrase…

"Awesome! I'll go get them!" He said and returned a short time later with not only one big bag, but 3 big bags full of clothing!

I looked at it and it must have all shown on my face. "There's not too much… you don't have to…"

"No, no- it's fine, really!" I said and slid my stocking back on.

I took the bag from him and began taking all sorts of clothes out of there!

I began on a pair of socks…

I was shortly interrupted when a bang on the door startled me, and so I pricked my finger.

It began bleeding.

"Should i… get that?" I asked, a little unsure of myself.

"Sure." Said Andy knowingly, smirking little. He took another drag out of his cigarette.

I looked at him in wonder. Another knock at the door made me jump.

"Come on in!" Andy called. I sucked on my bleeding finger. My fangs jutted out of my gums, piercing my finger further. I let out a gasp of shock.

Andy looked up at the opening door.

"Let's get this party started!" Johnny cried.

Only Nicolas and Johnny were there.

I looked at my finger… "How do you control these things?" I asked Andy, pointing to my fangs.

Just then, Nicolas was behind me. "So you got a pair of those too, huh?" He said, gesturing to my fangs. They retracted into my gums, and I let the blood fall on the carpet.

"So who's getting the tattoo?" Johnny asked, shutting the door.

"Roxy." Andy said.

"Hey." He said giving a faint wave to me and Nicolas did the same.

"Uh…hi…" I said.

"So... vampire huh?" Nicolas asked.

"Yeah." I said.

Johnny had already began unpacking all his stuff.

"So…What does yours look like Andy?" I asked.

He came over and rolled up his sleeve.

Just below his shoulder there is a symbol. It looked just like this:

"Okay…." Began Johnny "Take a seat…" he said patting his lap.

I looked at him in horror. "What, you didn't think this was for free did you?"

I (again) looked at him in absolute horror.

He laughed "Just joking – payments later!"

I sighed. PHEW!

I sat down on Andy's bed.

He got all his needles ready. I flinched at the sight of them. "You might want to look away!" he said and I did – I didn't need asking twice!

The needles jabbed and I gasped.

I just squinted my eyes shut tighter and hoped it would be over soon!

**My Tattoo**

It was finally over! I had to have 3 in the end.

The first means Ageless vampire (and it's the same as Andy's because he was the one who transformed me)

The second means blood bond (because have a blood bond with Andy – although he didn't have to have one which I thought was unfair!)

And the third means that ive had my awakening (many people don't have these ones as they die…)

"All done!" Johnny said and I looked at the inky red puffiness all over my body.

I had the first one in the same place as Andy.

I had the second one on my back, and I had the third one on my right thigh (on the outside!)

Nicolas threw Johnny and Andy a bottle of beer before opening one himself.

I guess I let my disappointment show because he said "You old enough?"

"Nah." I said.

"Ah well, who cares?" and he threw me one too!

I had trouble opening it with my fingers so I blasted the top off… again im not sure how, like with the bird – it just set alight!

Andy looked up at me. "How'd you do that?"

"What…? You can't?"

"No…I can just share thoughts, well obviously and make people do stuff… y'know like making them think that they thought of something_"

"Hey – I did that to the receptionist!" I said.

"Haha – what did you make her do?" Johnny joked making a blowj gesture.

"Nah I just made her hand over a room key…"

"…You might be part something else too…" Andy said.

"Umm… what the hell does that mean?" I asked.

"Well vampires can only do the telepathy and the mind control – you can do other stuff… maybe you… I dunno_"

"Maybe you're a witch!" Nicolas jumped in… I think he was already drunk – there were bottles of beer surrounding his feet and the beer cooler (well one of them) was half gone!

"Possibly…" Andy said thinking it over "You could have magical powers or whatever… but… you should have had them before I transformed you… unless that awakened that part of you aswell…"

Johnny was now with Nicolas just chugging down bottles of beer.

I had finished mine. "Here have another kid!" Johnny said rowdily and threw me a couple more.

I drank them too, and soon enough, we were all pissed off our feet.

"Sooo…."Johnny said coming over. "About that price we talked about…"


	6. Chapter 6

**From pissed to pissed off**

_Johnny's mouth was warm on mine._

_I felt his weight on top me. He groaned and I followed his lead._

_In all honesty I wasn't enjoying this… im not sure why everyone had told me it was great – it wasn't that amazing…_

_Then he entered me – it hurt and sharp pain entered me and I let out a gasp. _

_He ignored it and carried on, rocking back and forth inside me._

_I looked around the room, trying to find a clock. I couldn't, but suddenly the realisation of what had just happened shook me and I forced him off of me._

I woke up, with a start, sitting up fully.

I looked around the room. I was in a bed… I wasn't in my room…

I was… naked? My long black hair covered one of my boobs and I gasped when I realised someone was laying beside me!

Their head was partially hidden and it was dark, so I couldn't see.

I slowly lifted the duvet to find myself lying next to Johnny!

Luckily my pants were on… or were they his pants?

Oh, my head!

Just then Johnny opened one of his eyes.

"Hey, little miss naughty!" he said and grinned, rubbing his eyes.

He sat up and I briefly saw his shaft. I shut my eyes and turned my head quickly.

"Hah. Such a polite girl!"

I couldn't remember a thing!

"Excuse me…" I said, completely humiliated. "What did we…"

"Do?"

"Yeah…"

"Well… if you want the whole story…

We got completely pissed. Nicolas dared us to make out (we were doing dares), and then that escalated and we came to my room. Then I started sucking on you and you on me, and then I tried to go further but you slapped me and then put on _my_ pants… and _then_ we made out again and went to sleep….Remember?"

"I…Put on _your _ pants… where are mine?"

"Over there." He said, as if this happened every day.

I felt violated.

He sat up properly and put his hand on my shoulder. "How old did you say you were?"

"17 and a half." I said, still looking straight ahead.

"Oh, good, that means it wasn't illegal – not that we did or anything, im just saying _if_ we did…"

I felt awful. My head throbbed and I felt terrible for nearly fucking someone….

I was disgusted with myself and tears began rolling down my cheeks…

His arm moved from my shoulder to around my waist. He began kissing on my shoulder where his hand had been, which then he ended up sucking on.

His mouth moved from my shoulder to my neck, and he began moving me. First he flipped my so I was sitting on top of him, then he wrapped my legs around him.

"Johnny, I really don't think we should_" He looked at me and I suddenly felt as if I should bend to his will… in fact I wanted his will…. "STOP!" I yelled. "Stop hypnotising me!"

I felt his shaft rise against me and then thoughts tat made me feel as if I needed to have him.

I knew he had messed with my mind, but I couldn't undo that after he had already done it.

He raised his mouth to mine and I began kissing back. I slid off his pants.

"Roxy?"

"Yeah?"

"Talk dirty…"

"What?" I had never had to do that before…. Ever…

"Okay, then…. Let's just get down to it, huh?"

I looked into his dark eyes, and felt intensity. He raised me high with his hands on my waist.

How did he know what I was thinking, and how did he take control of my mind? Only one explanation… he was a …

"Yes…" he said. "Im a vampire… im the only other that Andy transformed….and trust me… vampire sex is good!"

Just then he thrust a finger inside me. I gasped with pain. This was my first time ever! Was that dream a warning?

"Johnny!" I said.

He didn't take notice.

"Johnny, I don't want to!" I yelled.

"Yes you do!"

"No, no, please…"

Just then he entered me entirely. It didn't hurt as much as his finger had, but everyone said that the first thing in you would hurt like hell!

I gasped again. "Johnny, please stop!"

"C'mon, baby! You're gonna like this!"

"No, Johnny_"

"Push"

"Johnny…."

It hurt, but the pain soon subsided – I still didn't want it. I felt like crying out for help. I did, but no words came out – his mouth was on mine again.

I tried again, this time with my mind, also, another instinct thing.

His mouth was off of mine again. "Please, Johnny, stop. Johnny. PLEA_"  
The door burst open from the adjoining room.

Nicolas came through followed by Andy.

Johnny stopped moving inside me. I shrank away from him. I wished I could just die. Tears rolled down my face again. This time of shame, embarrassment, pain, and I still felt violated and forced.

But this was my fault. If I hadn't drank so much – or at all, none of this shit would ever have happened.

I was weak and felt as if I was going to vomit, that's how scared and disgusted I was!

Johnny was looking completely pissed off.

"Roxy?" Nicolas said. Andy was staring at me in disbelief.


	7. Chapter 7

**An Apology and a trance**

Before I knew what I was saying, I blurted out "Andy im so sorry!" Im not sure why. Me and him were never together or anything – in fact I barely knew him… or was that true? I felt as if I belonged to him now. I felt as if I knew him as well as he did! All this from blood sharing…?

"I'm so sorry…" I whispered again, looking at the floor.

"You took her…y'know…?" Andy asked.

"She wanted it, too!" Johnny cried in protest.

"You shouldn't have…." Nicolas started.

"Andy, it's my fault_" I began in protest, but he looked at me. His eyes – they were filled with something… I couldn't make out whether it was shame, disappointment, or pure hatred or what, before he looked back to Johnny.

"You should have seen her!" Johnny started. "She was crying out my name_"  
"Yeah, for you to let her go!" Andy yelled. "The whole fucking hotel probably heard – it sounded like you were raping her!"

"He wasn't" I said, still not sure of myself.

I didn't bother covering myself up. My bottom half was still under the covers, but my top half was completely on show… luckily my hair was long enough to cover my nipples! In fact my hair was down beyond my hips, but that didn't matter.

Andy looked at the floor. "What do you mean?" he asked, still not looking at me.

"It's true… I wasn't being raped or anything… I just got in too deep… it's all my fault" I began, but my tears came down my face, and I couldn't say anymore, because I was too afraid.

"See it's not my fault – she wanted it – she admitted it herself." Johnny said triumphantly, raising his hands in the air and shrugging.

"SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL SHE WAS DOING! SHE WAS DRUNK AND YOU PROBABLY PLAYED WITH HER MIND, DIDN'T YOU?" Andy yelled.

"Hey c'mon, man, they were both drunk…" Nicolas said.

"Besides" Johnny said, reaching towards me again. "What's it matter to you?" he looked at Andy, challengingly.

"What do you mean?" Andy asked, clearly becoming uncomfortable.

"I mean… why's it any of your business…?"

"Because…. Well… she called out for help, man_"  
"So what would happen if I did this?" he said.

Just then I felt my mind freeze over. I still knew what was happening, I still had all my senses, but I couldn't move to my own will.

Johnny moved towards me in his bed, and put a hand to my head. He kissed me and I found myself kissing back.

"Johnny… you didn't paralyze her will did you?" Nicolas asked.

Andy was frozen in disgust.

Johnny made me move on top of him. He went inside me almost instantly and a groan beyond my will escaped my lips.

"She's enjoying this…" Johnny taunted.

"Johnny, stop it!" Andy said.

"Or what?" He tried. Johnny began sucking on my breast. I whimpered, but again it wasn't me!

Inside, my mind was in chaos. I felt awful. This was just horrible. I didn't like this at all! I tried crying out in pain, but my mouth wasn't mine anymore. In extension to that, Johnny was hanging off the end of it!

"Johnny…" Andy warned.

"Aw… Im just having a little fun…" he said.

"You better stop…" warned Nicolas.

"No…" Johnny tried. "What if, i…" he licked down my neck.

For a moment I thought he was going to bite me. But instead he rolled me underneath him and made me push and pull against him.

I wished my ordeal would be over!

Just when I thought I would kill myself if I ever came out of this trance, Andy came over and whacked him hard over the head.

Johnny fell unconscious on top of me. Suddenly my trance was broken.

"Roxy, are you_" I lurched up out of bed and ran with inhuman speed to the en suite bathroom and locked the door.

I vomited in the bathtub. I would have done it in the toilet, but I couldn't make in on time! It just kept coming out! I couldn't stop it now! Tears ran down my face, and I began crying so hard I thought my soul was going to come out through my eyes with the tears or through my mouth with the vomit!

"Roxy!" Andy pounded on the door.

I couldn't face him… not now - not ever! He had seen me so stupidly vulnerable and stupid and….well awful!

I felt like I was going to die!

"Roxy, open the door!"

Another pile of vomit rolled out of my mouth. How was I ever going to talk to anyone again?

Andy kept trying to make me open the door, he even tried the mind control thing but I blocked him completely.

He gave up, and I heard him say to Nicolas "She's not gonna ever be able to look at any of us in the face again."

"Hey, man she'll come around…" Nicolas said. Just then my stomach lurched again and I kept puking.

"Really?" Andy asked sarcastically.

I began gathering the garments of my clothing that I could find. I was too confused to know where I had left the others.

I put on my underwear – I couldn't find my bra. I put on my stockings; one was completely ripped up again. My skirt was actually one of the few items of clothing that fit properly! My corset's zip was broken. It wouldn't do up. I just pulled it over me as far as I could.

My hair was even scruffier and my make-up was a complete state!

I had finally stopped vomiting, and unlocked the door.

Tears still rolled down my face, but they were stopping now. I had to be brave – it was my fault anyway!

**Kill Me**

I pushed the door open and began to walk out of the bathroom. Andy and Nicolas were sitting on the bed with their backs to me. Sandra, Ashley and Jinxx were now all here – they'd probably heard all the commotion and come to see what was going on. I was just going to leave the room quietly un-noticed and go back to the hotel room (my hotel room) and get my stuff and leave.

Sandra spotted me first. Then Ashley and Jinxx (they were just like a double act), then Nicolas turned around.

"What, has that bastard woken up yet?" Andy said, back still turned.

I couldn't move, I just gulped, staring at them all in turn.

Then Andy turned. He saw me and stood up immediately.

He walked towards me fast. I turned and began turning the door handle. I tried going as fast as I could, but my hands fumbled clumsily and I couldn't get it.

Andy was now in front.

I looked up at him, still shamed.

"Roxy…" he said quietly.

The tears that I thought had stopped, came pouring down my face. Andy walked towards me and hugged me.

I lost myself in his arms. I tried to stop crying, but couldn't.

I gave up and just let my tears run freely down my face.

I found myself hugging him back, but this time I did it with my own free will.

I wished I could stay there forever.

He gently kissed the top of my head. I naturally would have freaked out, like "OH MY GOSH ANDY JUST KISSED ME!".

But to be honest, I didn't care… well it's not that I don't care, it's that I couldn't stop crying, and images of what had happened kept flooding into my mind.

Andy finally let go of me, but I clung to him.

It felt pathetic even on my behalf, but I couldn't help myself.

His arms enclosed around me once again.

It felt so nice…

I let go of him, finally this time. I tried to meet the others' eyes, but just then, a murmur was heard from Johnny's lips and he sat up slowly, as if waking up from the deepest of sleep…


	8. Chapter 8

**Puking Again**

Johnny raised his weary, knocked out, hang-overed head!

He looked up straight at me. "Alright?" He asked, clearly not remembering anything.

I shook my head in disbelief and hid a little behind Andy.

Everyone was staring at him, mouths open.

"Okay, what did I do…?" He asked, unimpressed.

"Well, my friend, you just raped someone…" Ashley said. I would have laughed at how outright and crude he had said it if I wasn't still in shock and it hadn't happened to me.

"Really? Who?" He asked, obviously still not knowing what the hell was going on.

"Roxy." Ashley said.

"…Was it good for _you_?" He asked, still thinking that everyone was joking.

Tears ran down my face.

"Was I really that bad?" He asked joking…

After a long awkward silence he still looked around the room asking oblivious questions. "So why am I naked?" he asked.

"You raped someone." Jinxx said.

"Why am I exhausted?"

"You raped someone." Jinxx said again.

"No, seriously, guys, what the hell's going on?"

"You. Raped. Someone." Jinxx said. "Got it this time?"

"Seriously?" He asked looking at Sandra who almost always told the truth in awkward situations.

She nodded her head.

He looked up at me. I was still semi-hiding.

"I really don't remember…" he said.

Andy turned his head to me. "You okay if I show him a mental image?" He asked quietly. I nodded, trying to shake some of the tears away.

He turned and I saw how Johnny's face distorted as Andy showed him the rape he had conducted.

I tried tuning in to see what Andy was showing him – I felt almost like I had to see.

I saw and pulled out immediately.

I (once again) ran to the bathroom locking the door behind me.

Once there I didn't even try and hide the fact that I was crying. I cried out loud and began puking again.

After some time of hearing mixed conversations from outside:

"Look, I've told you – I don't remember!"

"Well you did it!"

Things like that. It went on for ages. I went through my bag and found my razor.

I dragged it across my wrists and cried still.

The shouting stopped.

"Roxy…? What are you doing…?" I'm not sure but I think that was Johnny.

I didn't answer.

"Don't change the subject." Andy said.

"Andy, talk to her – she's doing something stupid!"

Andy then flooded into my mind. 'What are you doing?' he asked me in my mind.

Before I could block him out he saw my wrists and the blood pouring on the floor and surrounding me.

He ran to the bathroom door and began pounding on it. "ROXY! DON'T! ROXY – LET ME IN!"

I dragged the razor across my wrists again (upwards, so I sliced the veins open).

"Oh, Roxy… Don't…" He said at the door.

"What's she doing?" Sandra asked.

My whole world fuzzed around me as a lot of my blood escape from me.

"Just go in there!" Jinxx shouted.

Just then Andy's fist burst through the door and unlocked the lock.

I heard in the background "I really don't know why you hold you powers back…"

He slid it open, and took a look at what was going on.

I looked on him pathetically.

He began walking towards me, but just then Johnny's face appeared in the door.

I really don't know what was wrong with me, but I found myself spraying the contents of the bathtub all over him. Im not sure how I was doing it, but I was. Andy came towards me and I automatically stopped.

By now, everything was fading. He picked me up. Once again, my head was resting on one of his arms and my legs dangling over the other.

He carried me out of the blood stained bathroom and I busted open the lock for him.

"Roxy, I_" began Johnny

"You make me sick…" I said, and everything faded. Faded to black. A woozy black that stretched on beyond my subconscious… A black thick enough to touch…


	9. Chapter 9

**Hotel Clothes- GROSS!**

My eyes fluttered.

I woke up in my old hotel room.

Andy was in his bed and the morning light was creeping through the curtains.

What the hell was I doing here?

Had it all been a dream?

I sat up and was about to get out of bed when Andy got up instead. "No you don't." he said. "You need to stay in here – im not letting you out of my sight!"

"What I do?" I moaned.

"Hm… Let's see… You attempted bloody suicide – that's what, and im not letting you do it again!"

I looked at him. "So… it really happened then…"

"Yeah…" he said.

I looked down at my wrists. True enough there was a huge gash in my arm. In fact there were several of them. My clothes were gone, though – I was wearing… what the hell was I wearing.

"Andy - what the hell am I wearing?" I asked.

"A hotel gown thing…"

"Hotel clothes – seriously?" I asked. I hated hotel clothes – they were manky and disgusting and itchy and Urgh!

"You seem lively…." He said sitting beside me on the bed. "I know you probably don't wanna speak about it or anything, but if ya wanna talk… then… well…"

I sat up properly. I really wasn't sure what happened much – I guess that was down to the trance and the hang-over.

"So… you wouldn't mind going over some stuff with me…?" I asked nervously.

"If ya want."

"So… I don't really remember what happened… I mean I remember cutting myself, and I remember you carrying me out… I just only have really vague memories of the rape itself. I don't want to see it, but I feel like I have to know – I feel like I need to, because it happened to me…"

"Are you sure you want to see…?" he asked surprised.

"Yeah" I said, not sure at all.

"Alright…" He said warningly.

Just then all the images of the rape flew into my head. I remembered everything clearly. I remembered calling for help and I remembered (from Andy's point of view of course) everything that had happened.

It got worse and worse and- "STOP!" I yelled. I thought I couldn't take anymore.

"Sorry, I thought you said you were ready…" he started.

I cried, hiding my face. I brought my knees up to my chest and rested my elbows on them, weeping.  
"Im not ready, and I'll never be ready!" I said.

He honestly looked like he didn't know what the hell he was going to do.

I didn't want him to see my face. I rested my head on my knees this time and put my arms in front of my head like children do on their desks when they feel ill or don't want their classmates to see them crying. My hair fell over my face, hiding me perfectly.

"Im…sorry…" Andy said.

…**Just Forget…**

I was still crying an hour later, and an hour after that until I thought I couldn't cry anymore… I found I could…

Andy was pacing. "Im sorry – I shouldn't have showed you those images!" He said at last.

"It's not your fault." I said, looking up. "It's mine – it's all my fault – I got drunk, I allowed myself to go with Johnny, I allowed all of it to happen, and then I asked you to show me what was happening."

"Do you want to forget…?" he asked me.

I looked up. "I don't know… If I do, ill regret it, but if I don't ill…."

"Do you want to forget?" he asked me again.

"No…" I said unsurely.

"Well im sorry, Roxy, but that's exactly what you're gonna do..." he said coming over to me.

"Andy, what are you_"

"This won't hurt, really…"

"How much are you taking away?" I asked, in horror. I knew he wasn't going to leave me with my memory.

He didn't say anything. "Andy…?" I asked.

"Everything…." He said, and I swear I saw a tear glistening in his eye.

"But, Andy I _"

He put fingers of both hands on the side of my temples.

More tears ran down my face. Before I knew what I was doing I leaned forward and kissed him. It was a light kiss ad he returned it to me. His lips were soft and gentle, caressing mine with care.

But I already felt my head spinning. I already felt as if I was falling through a vortex. But the vortex was my memory and I was falling away from it all.

My vision began to fade again.

"Andy…" I said, and a tear fell down my face as one rolled down his.

"Andy I love you…" I said.

…Darkness…


	10. Chapter 10

**...Alley…?**

An alley faded into my view. I looked up and saw a figure walking away from me. It was a man. He was wearing black skinny jeans, a black leather jacket, boots and he had longish shaggy black hair.

I felt sick… where was i?

"Hey!" I yelled.

He stopped, back still turned.

"HEY!" I yelled again, standing up, shakily.

He turned slightly. I saw him side on.

I ran up to him, and he began walking again.

"Excuse me?" I called.

Again he stopped.

"Where am i?" I yelled. It seemed he wasn't up to talking.

I think he said something, but I didn't hear it.

He again began walking, and I let him leave. Did I know him? I felt sure that I did, but how could I?

He disappeared into the dusty atmosphere. I began following in his direction – I wasn't following him, but he obviously knew the way out!

I came to a junction. I knew where I was. I was back in my home town.

I walked along the terrace and came to my house… it seemed like weeks since I'd been here.

I knocked on the door… why was I knocking on my own front door?

My Dad came to the door.

"Hi…" He said.

"Hi, Dad." I hugged him. It felt awkward – I really felt like I hadn't seen him for ages.

I looked onwards into the kitchen. That strange man was there.

He was talking to my Mom. He caught sight of me out of the corner of his eye and turned to see me.

He abruptly got up and left.

"Thanks." My Mom said to him as he left.

It all felt so fake – so… _forced_…

"So did you have fun at the, uhh…. Store, sweetie…?" My Mom asked. Why was she being so nice. My Mom was never nice to me…

"I woke up in an alley…" I said dryly.

"Well what the fuck were you doing there?" My Mom yelled. Yep. Normal Mom is back.

"I don't know, and you don't care!" I yelled. "I don't know what the fuck is happening – I have a memory that is hazy and glazed over and everything around me seems fake and put in place!"

I began crying and ran upstairs to my bedroom.

Posters…everywhere… I looked around my bedroom and shut my door. I put my CD player on loud.

'Alone at last we can sit and fight…" It sang. I looked at the CD box on top of the stereo. Black Veil Brides… Of course!

My favourite band!

I looked at the man on the cover. He seemed familiar. So familiar, I felt as if I knew him… but of course I didn't. I was a fan-girl… only someone who _wanted_ to know him…

I reached for the phone and dialled a number.

I didn't really know what I was doing, but I guess it was just a routine.

"Hello?" came from the other end.

"Hey Roxy!" came an excited voice "Guess what?"

"Uh, what Posy? – POSY!" I yelled.

"Uh… Roxy…? Are you okay…?"

"Yeah… I just remember you, that's all." I said. "So whats this news?"

"Schools out! The teachers are all on strike!"

"That's awesome!" I cried. "Hey, ya wanna come over?"

"Sure!"

The line went dead.

So Posy came to my house. We laughed. We moshed and reminisced on things.

"Uh, Posy? Have I been away for a while?"

"No. Why?"

"I just woke up in an alley and I don't know what's happening, I feel far away, and I feel like I haven't seen anyone in ages…"

"Wow… that was full on…" She joked in her usual Posy way!

Finally she came to a conclusion when I went through my purse find my phone.

"It's gone!" I said. "I'm sure I had it – in fact I know I did!"

"Hey… maybe that's why you were in the alley…" she started.

"Uh…what…?"

"Okay… you say you had your phone, right?"

"Right"

"You woke up in an alley, possibly concussed, which would explain why you cant remember anything – you're phones gone – maybe someone knocked you out, took your phone, and left! Yeah, that makes sense!"

I looked at her… it really did make sense. But it didn't explain the man I had seen there, and again at my house. I was going to mention it, when I heard my Mom and Dad fighting again.

"You WHORE!" My Dad shouted.

"How dare you?" My Mom retorted. "You have no proof!"

"I DON'T NEED FUCKING PROOF!" My Dad yelled back.

"How can you prove that I did anyway?"

"I don't need to anyway... I want a divorce…"

"FINE!" My Mom yelled. "FUCK YOU!"

I heard a door slam and a load of swearing.

I poke my head around the landing and had to duck out of the way of a flying vase! It shattered just by my head and I heard a "NEXT TIME YOU LISTEN IN IM GONNA COME UP THERE AND HIT YOU MYSELF!" My Dad yelled.

I crawled back to my room from where I had been kneeling.

"Sorry about that!" I said to Posy.

"S'OK…" She said.

So, weeks passed. Months. A year.


	11. Chapter 11

**De ja vu**

Posy ran up to me, waving something. This all seemed familiar – like it had happened before… Posy running up to me waving something…

I was glum (school was back on). "What is it, Posy?" I asked.

"You'll never guess what I just got!"

"What is it?"

"Football tickets!" She said trying to be excited.

"C'mon Posy – what is it?"

She held them up to my face.

"Tickets to…. BLACK VEIL BRIDES!" We both shrieked excitedly, not noticing the teacher coming in.

"When is it?" I asked excitedly, not noticing the hush of the class, or their eyes bearing down on me.

"Tonight!"

"What?"

"E-Herm!" We jumped and found the teacher's formidable eyes glaring at us above her glasses. "You two will be attending detention at lunch time today _and_ after school…"

"Why is that then?" Posy asked.

"Incorrect uniform. Swearing at other members of staff, yes I heard about that! Undone homework. Throwing things at members of staff… and showing no respect to them whatsoever. As I said. Ill be seeing you two at lunch _and_ after school."  
"Dream on, bitch!" I said before I knew it was coming out of my mouth. "We're leaving."

"Excuse me? And where do you think you're going?"

"Away from you – you old twat!" I grabbed Posy's arm and pulled her out of the class room with me.

"Come back here, right now!" the teacher yelled after us.

"See ya in hell y'old skank!" I called after her.

Me and Posy stopped around the corner to catch our breath.

**Before The Concert**

Me and Posy walked around the corner. Even from half way down the street you could hear my parents arguing.

"I FUCKING HATE YOU!" My Dad yelled.

"SAME TO YOU!" My Mom retorted.

Me and Posy tip-toed up to my bedroom, not wanting them to hear us.  
"ROXY!" My Dad yelled.

I cringed and told Posy to continue up to my bedroom.

"Why the hell are you home so early?" He demanded.

Without knowing what I was doing, I yelled back. "Well I could ask the same thing! You're never at home – to busy getting face pissed off!"

"HOW DARE YOU?" He yelled punching me in the face.

"Don't do that!" My Mom yelled at him. For a moment I was almost happy that she was sticking up for me, but I realised she was only doing it to get a one up on Dad.

"Why not?" he said, in that psychotically quiet way, that when I was a kid, meant I was going to be beaten to hell.

"Because she's your kid too!" Mom yelled.

"No she's not! She doesn't even look like me!"

"So what? You signed the birth certificate!"

"Yeah, I did! Because then you thought I was the dad!"

"Wait…" I said. "You're not my Dad?"

"OF COURSE IM NOT YOUR FUCKING DAD! SHES SUCH A FUCKING WHORE, YOU COULD BE ANY ONE ON THIS STREET'S CHILD!"

"Who is it, Mom." I asked. All my life I had grown up thinking of the man before me as my Dad.

Mom looked at the floor. "WELL?" My Dad yelled.

"IT'S JIMMY, OKAY?" She yelled.

"WHAT?" My Dad exploded. "JIMMY? He's my co-worker, you bitch!"

He started beating Mom. I tried to pull them off each other but that soon ended in me being hit as well.

My Dad finally went out to the bar and Mom and me were just left in the corridor. I wandered about Posy – she was probably pissed off, bored, and scared in my bedroom.

"Jimmy?" I asked, disgusted. I _hated_ that guy. He used to come round and get drunk with my Dad…

"Shut up, I hate you!"

"Whatever." I said picking myself up.

"It's true. I fucking hate you – I wish you were dead… I wouldn't care… maybe you should just die…"

"Yeah." I said. "Im gonna be out for a while. Don't expect me back for tomorrow."

"WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"

"Why should you care?" I asked looking at her. "You wouldn't care if I died…"

I walked upstairs to my bedroom and Posy was already in her concert clothes.


	12. Chapter 12

Please note that this is not a repeat of the first chapter – all will be revealed… kind of… soon… probably… By the way – sorry if I can't post so often anymore, my baby brother is here and I never get to see him (I live with my Dad and he lives with my Mom). So im spending as much time with him as possible – also, these are going to be really short chapters – sorry about that!

**During the concert**

I jumped in the crowd, pumping my arm in time with the music. I turned to see my friend Posy doing the same. We were at the front of the mosh pit in the concert.

"One final fight for this tonight. Woah….." Andy said running over to our side of the stage.

He looked at me and looked like he was shocked.

Me and Posy screamed, and stopped singing along. We reached out our hands and he seemed … weird…

I wanted to know what he was thinking. 'What the hell is _she_ doing here?' he thought. I was a little freaked when the thought of reading his mind hit me – it was probably just my imagination.

He held the mic out to the crowd and we all sang in unison "With knives and pens we made our plight. Well I can't go on without your love you lost you never held on…."

"We tried our best turn out the light. Turn out the light!" he screamo screamed into the mic and the song was over.

He stood. "Uh. Thanks so much for coming tonight… you… uh… have been … thanks for coming!" he said and finished the set hurriedly.

I felt someone's eyes burning into my back. I turned to see someone who looked just like Johnny from Get Scared.

He turned and started to push his way through the crowd. Without realising what I was doing I was telling Posy not to wait for me and that I was going.

"What? Where are you going? NO! IM not_" I looked at her in the face and wanted her to stay.

"Fine… But what about our plan…? – I'll see you at home then…!" She said waving happily.

I was slightly confused – how the hell had that happened?

I felt like I had to go somewhere. I didn't know where I was going; I just let my legs carry me.

Before I knew it, I was heading towards a tour bus – of course! Me and Posy's plan! We were going to sneak onto the tour bus, say hi to them and then go home and brag to Joe a bit (Joe was one of our friends).

**On the bus**

I tried the handle of the door and found that it shifted easily. I stepped onto the tour bus. It was dark and I couldn't really see much. I could vaguely make out a bed or a sofa or something.

"Hi Roxy."

My blood froze – someone had caught me!

I stood still.

I turned around to face my captor.

"Hi Andy…" I said.


	13. Chapter 13

**On the bus part 2**

I could only see Andy's face, which was ghostly pale in the moonlight.

I felt as if I knew him. Like I knew him really well. Of course I didn't.

"Why did you come?" he asked. His face was creased with pain, and his voice was unsteady. "Why did you come back?"

"…What do you mean…?"I asked slowly.

"Why did you come to the concert tonight? Why did you come on the bus? Why are you here?"

"Oh, im so sorry for coming on the bus, really I am, I'll leave straight away! And I came to your concert because im such a big fan! I have been for years!"

He looked at me from the shadows. Suddenly he walked forward and his body came into my sight.

He was walking towards me.

"But, Roxy…"He didn't finish the sentence.

"How do you know my name?" I asked him, frowning slightly in confusion.

"It's… uh… listen… we… ah to hell with it, I'll just show you!" he said gradually becoming more frustrated.

"When was the last time you had some blood?" he asked me.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I asked confused.

"Just answer me." He said.

"Well…. Uh… never…?" I said. Maybe he was just drunk.

"Fine." He said, placing his finger tips on my temples. "We'll have to do it this way."

He closed his eyes, and I felt the need to do the same.

Suddenly images flooded my mind, until that was all that remained… and then… blackness…

**Memories**

A room faded into my sight.

Someone grabbed my arm and helped me sit up.

"Still not eating then…?" Andy said.

I looked up. "Huh?" Suddenly I remembered everything.

"But. That happened… it hasn't happened…." I was babbling.

I remembered it all. But how could i? That was…. In the future…?

"Jinxx sent us back in time. That's his speciality. We all stayed back in the past, to ensure this wouldn't happen…"

"But it did… how come I can still remember this? If it hasn't happened yet because im back in time… then how _has_ it happened?"

"Because it did…." He just said.

"So…what now…?" I asked.

Andy bit his wrist and blood began welling down it.

He held it out to me.

"NO, I cant!" I yelped in horror.

He sighed and sealed the wound with his spit. "Look. I wasn't meant to show you that. You're meant to be drinking blood, which is why you're so weak…" he kept trailing off.

"Is this a joke?" I asked, hoping it was, but something deep inside me told me it wasn't.

He shook his head. "No."

"It is." I said, convincing myself "This is all a sick joke. Do you think this is fucking funny? Huh?"

I found myself crying.

Andy shook his head. "This is real, Roxy." He said. He knelt by my side.

I looked away from him. "This is a dream." I said definitively. "Im going to wake up now, and when I do, you're going to be gone and im going to be able to get on with my normally abnormal life as a fan girl."

"Suit yourself." He said, sitting on the floor, putting his legs out in front of him. "I got all night."

I shut my eyes. Then I opened them again. Nope. Same room. Andy next to me, looking at me expectantly.

I tried again. Same thing. I pinched myself. And again. And again, until small bruises appeared on my arms.

"Stop that!" Andy said catching the arm that was slapping myself.

"But…but… im meant to be waking up…." I said. It sounded pathetic even to me. Tears started rolling down my face. I didn't want to remember. I was beginning to feel more myself in my life as me. But now…

"Roxy…"

I suddenly remembered the day Andy erased my memory. I had kissed him – how embarrassing!

"Andy I_"

"It's fine…" he said.

"Im… Im so sorry!" I said before running to the door of the tour bus and puking everywhere.

Andy got up and came to the door.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"Well, what the hell do you think?" I asked, between gasps.

"Here." He said and handed me a box of tissues. I wiped my mouth.

I looked up at Andy and then away again. How pathetic.

I was crying. I couldn't bear the thought of all these things.  
I was so confused-

Andy's hand brushed the hair off of my face. I looked up at him in surprise, and another tear rolled down my face. He brushed it away with his thumb.

After ages of awkward silence, I picked up my bag. "I have to go." I said.

"No." Andy said. "You cant… I mean…uh…"

I started to turn to the door.

"You have to stay!" He called. "Please, just… stay and we can… talk…?" Andy really wasn't himself. "C'mon… last time we met, you said something to me, and I kinda wanna talk about it…. I mean_"  
"What, so you're just going to pretend that everything's fine, and back to normal?" I cried throwing my bag on the floor. I don't know why this bothered me so much. Why was he asking me to stay? I meant nothing to him whatsoever.

"That's not true…." He said.

"What's not true?" I asked, forgetting that I could read his mind.

"….I didn't' say anything…" he lied, awkwardly.

Just then Ashley came on the bus. "Shit, Andy!" He cried and came into view. "Oh, hey Roxy." He said.

"Can't it wait, Ashley?" Andy said, frustrated.

"Well…not really, I mean it's full moon tonight and, luckily the moon's just behind the clouds, but it's only a matter of time before_" He was cut short in his sentence. He thrust his head back and began panting heavily.

He seemed to grow, almost. His clothes tore, and his pupils dilated.

"Shit." Andy said simply.

Hair began sprouting all over his body.

Sandra burst onto the bus followed by Jinxx.

I stared in bewilderment. By now, Ashley was on the floor. He groaned loudly, and it faded into a howl.

I looked at Andy "What the fuck is going on?" I asked before Ashley bounded out into the moonlight.


	14. Chapter 14

My baby brother's ill!

That's why this chapter is so brief and crap - I can't do much because my Dad is out at work till late, so I pick my brother up from nursery and have to look after him.

Well, I hope you enjoy it anyway!

**Were-Wolf?**

I ran after Ashley. "Ashley!" I yelled.

"Roxy!" Andy was running after me now.

He stopped and appeared right in front of me. "Roxy stop." He said and grabbed me by the shoulders.

"We have to help him!" I cried "We have to go after him – he might hurt somebody – or himself!"

"Just…leave him…" Andy said. "He'll be fine, just please…"

I tried to see past him. What was that?

All I heard were padded footsteps.

Then I saw it. It's ugly face peered over Andy's shoulder.

I was shaking.

"What." He asked.

"Andy he's…" just then Ashley lifted one of his pudgy hand/paws and scraped his claws down Andy's neck.

"OW! Son of a_" Andy began lifting his hand to his neck.

"Andy…" I began as I saw Ashley lifting his hands again.

"What is it?" he asked trying to seal up the wound – not at all worried that a were-wolf was standing behind him!

Ashley bared his teeth, and his mouth opened wide. "Andy…RUUUUUUUN!"

Andy turned. "SHIT!" He yelled and grabbed my arm before we ran back to the bus.

**Hiding**

"What the hell was that?" I whimpered as I heard another howl in the distance.

Andy and me were hiding on the tour bus. We were in the bathroom, hiding in the shower.

I thought to myself suddenly _'Oh. My. God… Im hiding in the shower with Andy Six, I should be fucking happy…"_

Andy stifled a laugh as best as he could. Then I remembered that he could read my thoughts…

Andy brought his hand to his neck. I smelt blood and before I knew what I was doing my mouth was on his neck_

"Oh God - Im sorry!" I said and yanked my mouth away. He smiled faintly.

He brought his nails to his neck and blood welled out more. "Here…" he said. "…Drink…"

I brought my mouth to his neck once more and paused before I began to drink.

After drinking for a bare minimum of 5 seconds I pulled away again.

"Im sorry – I shouldn't!" I said.

I was repulsed at myself! I couldn't believe what a selfish cow I'd become!

"It's okay!" He insisted. "Drink."

I let his strength persuade me into drinking from him.

It tasted to rich and it was so warm.

After I had had my fill, I slit my throat with my nail and held it out to him.

He didn't hold back. Before I knew it, he was behind me and holding me by the shoulders. His mouth was pressed to the wound.

After a while of blood sharing, I sat down in the shower cubicle. Andy did too.

Andy looked at me and a smile played across his lips. He brought his hand to my face and I (automatically) flinched away from him.

He looked a little shocked, and I must admit, so was i.

Once again, his hand came towards my face…and once again I flinched away…

"Uh…" I began.

"You have blood on your lips." Andy said, and this time I let him gently brush it away with his thumb…

Well this was certainly awkward…

I shifted uneasily, and my shoes scraped along the shower tray. "That was my shoes, I swear!" I said looking up in surprise!

He laughed. "Ya sure?"

"Absolutely fuckin positive!" I said, and laughed.

After ages of awkward silences and more shoe squeaking, I looked at my watch. 3:08 am.

Hell, I was tired.

Just then I heard a blood curdling scream. It sent shivers down my spine, and strangely I found that I knew it.

More short, but loud screams (more like screeches actually) volleyed out afterwards.

I stood straight away.

Silence. "What is it?" Andy asked confused.

Another loud scream could be heard, and I made out "Oh, God, please HELP ME!"

"Who Is it?" he asked.

More short screams.

"Oh, god." I said feeling sick to my stomach. "Posy…."


	15. Chapter 15

**Posy**

I ran off the tour bus straight away followed by a vaguely confused Andy.

"POSY!" I screamed. I don't know what I expected to happen… she was probably dead.

A chillingly close howl brought me to a standstill. Andy reached my side.

"Roxy, what the hell do you think you're doing?" he hissed.

I looked at him blankly when he stopped dead.

I followed his gaze and saw a couple bushes and shrub type things in one of those things that you get separating the rows of cars.

"What…" I asked plainly. Surely he had seen a couple shrubs before.

Then I saw. Converse…jeans… "OH MY GOD!" I gasped and ran towards it.

I was about 50 yards before the bushes, and I heard heavy panting. I crept up behind them and saw Ashley… well… his were-wolf…

I looked at him. He had his back to me and I couldn't see past him… all I saw was Posy's feet and legs… maybe she was unconscious…

I suddenly had an idea… if Ashley wasn't himself and he nearly killed Andy… we needed a distraction… I tried to reach Andy with my mind. ' Can you go to the other side of the car park and make a howling noise to distract Ashley, and I'll tend to Posy…' I said.

I didn't get a reply, but I was sure that he would do it.

A few moments later I heard a faint howling in the distance. The big ugly thing that Ashley had turned into returned the call and bounded into the distance.

'Thank you' I tried to send to Andy. Shutting my eyes, I took a deep breath, and stepped towards the limp body that was Posy.

Her eyes were fluttering.

"Posy!" I cried.

"Ro…xy…?" she asked, faintly.

"He didn't hurt you did he?" I asked, pathetically – how stupid a question was that?

She slowly allowed her arm to lay limp at her side, sliding down her stomach. I gasped in horror.

Her stomach had been slit open, and her guts were hanging out, half devoured.

"Oh, Posy – oh God! HELP! ANDY!"

Posy was remarkably still breathing. I couldn't believe it.

"Roxy…" she asked.

I looked at her, trying not to cry. "What is it?"

"Am I going to die…?"

"No no… No… of course not!" I said, allowing my tears to run freely.

Then Andy was by my side. "Oh, my god…" she said. I looked back down at her. "Why is Andy here…? I don't want him to see me like this…." She said. I couldn't help but smile.

"You must be Posy." He said.

"Andy we have to do something." I said.

He looked at me and said. "Hold on. I need a word."

"But… but Posy!" I protested.

"Will last."

I looked at him in disgust. My best friends was dying, and he 'wanted a word' ?

He grabbed my arm, and led me away, despite my screaming for him to stop.

**Sorry?**

"What the hell do you think your doing?" I hissed at him.

"Look." He said. "You want to save your friend. I get that. But what do you expect me to do about it? I can't heal her_"

"Can't we use our spit?"

"It wont work – her fucking guts are hanging out!"

"ROXY!" Posy screamed, which caused my head to turn.

"Look, im sorry." He said finally. "I can't help her, and you're only deluding yourself into thinking that you can!"

With that he walked away. Why the hell was he so cranky?

I didn't care.

I ran back to Posy. She was crying now. And blood was coming out of her mouth.

"Oh, Posy…" I sighed, miserably. "What have I got you into?"

She looked at me confused.

"I want you to have something." She said.

I looked at her gone out. She reached into her trouser pocket and revealed a pocket knife. "It was my Dad's before he died." She said.

I looked at her confused. "Why do you want me to have it?" I asked.

"I want you to find what beast that was…" she began "And kill it…"

"WHAT?" I yelped.

"You heard. "

Okay, what the hell was this? This was animal loving Posy… and she wanted me to kill an animal? To make matters worse – this animal was Ashley!

She began coughing and spluttering up blood.

"Posy, you can't be serious!" I cried.

"I am." She said and another tear rolled down her cheek. "Kill it"

"I can't." I said and a tear rolled down _my _cheek.

And then she said with great effort, between gasps and coughs full of blood "Then you have failed me."

And then her breath stopped. Her eyes closed. And her whole body went limp in my arms.

"Posy?" I said.

Obviously there was no reply.

I shook her hard by the shoulders, willing her to open her eyes, burst out laughing and tell me how gullible I was. "POSY!" I screamed at her "POSY FOR FUCKS SAKE WAKE UP!"

Nothing.

That night I cried for hours in the moonlight over her limp body. I stayed there the night, just to make sure that Ashley didn't come back and devour her further.

I cried until I felt like my eyes would drop out…

I cried until the moon disappeared behind the clouds…

I cried until…. The blackness…


	16. Chapter 16

**Sunrise**

I woke up, stiff and aching all over.

Posy was lying limp on the floor and I was lying next to her.

My head hurt. What was I going to do about all this?

My best friend was gone. Was it my fault?

I thought about it. If I hadn't let myself wander onto the tour bus and remember everything – and if I hadn't let my-self leave her and not go home, then we could have gone home together, and we could have laughed, and… and –

"Hey."

I didn't bother turning around.

"We could have saved her." I said.

"No." Andy said. "You're wrong. We couldn't have done anything. You didn't come back to the bus – we were worried. Are you coming with us, or going back home?" He was very blunt about it. I liked that. It spared me the sympathetic fake smiles that everyone else was so good at giving out whenever necessary.

"So what do you want me to do?" I asked, bitterly staring my tears falling to the ground. I turned them to ice.

"I…" he didn't answer me.

I turned to him. "WELL? You want me to go back to my pathetic normal life?Y'know what her last wish was to me…? Her last wish… was for me to kill the beast that killed her... She wants me to kill Ashley, Andy…" I got to my feet. "So what would you have me do…?" I met him eye level.

He shrugged "I can't decide your future…" He walked away. "I just came to see if you were okay…"

I suddenly felt awful. I had just taken out a load of stuff on him.

He had only come to see if I was alright…

I know I had hurt him.

"Andy, i_"

He was walking away. He climbed on the bus and shut the door.

I tried to reach his mind, but it deflected me like a force field.

I slumped down on the floor and looked at Posy.

She had always said that she wanted to be cremated.

I stood up and set her on fire with my mind. I turned. I couldn't bear to watch her burn.

**Frozen Tears**

I went back to the tour bus.

I opened the door. I put one foot on the step, and looked back. Nothing remained.

I froze a tear and held it in my hand.

I stepped on the bus. Andy was sitting down.

"Where is everyone?" I asked, steadying my voice.

"They're gonna go home for a while… kinda like a vacation…"

"Oh…"

This was certainly awkward.

"What's that in your hand?" he asked.

I looked down at my tears. "Frozen Tears." I said.

There were many of them. All perfectly shaped.

He got to his feet.

"Im sorry about your friend." He said.

"Me too." I said. I cried.

I suddenly found myself being embraced by him.

My hand fell to my side, and the tears fell and shattered on the floor.

I nuzzled my face into him. His smell filled my head and I found my arms closing round him.

I let myself stay there.

"Andy?"

"Yeah."

"Thank you."

He pulled away.

"What for?"

I blushed deeply – I couldn't tell him! _For looking after me. For being you. For making me feel good…For being gorgeous…_ I thought, and could've listed things all day.

He laughed. "You think im gorgeous?"

I blushed even more, until I thought that my blood vessels might burst out of my head. "Uh-huh." I said dumbly.

He looked at me, surprised.

"Im sorry for making you uncomfortable!" I flustered and turned to run away –

His hand grabbed my arm "Wait_"

I looked back at him, wishing that the floor would swallow me up.

"I think _you're_ gorgeous…"

I looked at his face.

"Really." I said sarcastically, turning to face him again.

"Yeah."

"Oh, Andy. You make me feel so stupid." I said and hugged him tightly – desperately trying to make this whole situation at least a thousand times less awkward.

"Oh… I, uh… make you feel stupid…?"

"Oh no – did I say that – I SO didn't mean it – really I was just trying to make this less awkward, because I cant believe you read my thoughts – im just so glad you stopped reading them, because_"

Just then, the image of my memory being erased flashed into my head.

"I love you" I had said.

I was now even more embarrassed, as I knew that he had read my mind.

"Did… did you really mean that?" he asked.

I nodded looking at the floor in shame.

…Silence…

I began to babble. "Well… you started to cry… I mean… I saw a tear roll down your cheek…. Uhhh… would it make a difference if I loved you anyway? You can't love me and even if you could, you wouldn't!" I cried finally. "I will never be good enough for you…" I turned and ran off the bus. I broke down as soon as I knew I was out of earshot.

That really was unexpected.

I thought of everything that had happened in the past few hours. My friend had died. I had old someone I loved them… and they didn't love me… it hurt. It really hurt…

I thought of Posy again. She wanted me to kill the beast that killed her. I was a beast. I was a vampire… I had let her die…

"You want to be avenged?" I screamed. "YOU WANT ME TO KILL THE BEAST THAT KILLED YOU?"

I knew she couldn't, but I hoped Posy could here me. I took the pocket knife out of my pocket. She wanted me to avenge her.

I dragged the knife across my wrist and gasped in pain. I hacked and hacked along and across my arm. I bled for ages and kept on deepening the cuts in my arms.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" Yelled a voice from behind me.

"Goodbye…Andy…" I said, and felt as if I was falling.

He ran to my side and caught me. He lifted me up like before – legs draped over one of his arms, and head resting on his other.

By now I was so tired due to blood loss I could hardly protest. "Andy – put me down…"

"WHY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?" He yelled angrily.

"Why would you come after me?" I asked simply. "You don't even love me."

He brushed my hair away from my face and shook his head in disbelief.

…And then I fainted…


	17. Chapter 17

**Questions**

I woke up in a strange room. It was cream… my bed sheets were cream… My clothes were – oh shit!

Hospital. "Welcome back." Said a weird voice. "We thought we'd lost you."

I looked up.

"Pardon me asking, but who are you?" I asked.

"Im Doctor Marvin Kaelig. I just treated you." I looked at him…was he Irish.

"yeah." He said.

"How did you_"

"Im like you…"

I looked at him, one eyebrow raised.

"Vampire." He said and I nearly jumped out of my bed – in fact I would have if my arm wasn't hooked up to a…

"What the hell is that?" I squealed.

"That's a drip." He said.

"Where's_"

"Andy?"

"Yeah." I said uneasily.

"I'll leave you to it." He went to the door and shut it behind him.

So that was it? Maybe he wasn't here.

"How are you feeling?" A familiar voice from behind me asked.

I whirled around and ran to him…dragging the drip along with me.

"Woah! Be careful!" He laughed, and I was so pleased to see his smiling face.

I tried to go to him, but the drip was stopping me. I got frustrated and yanked it out, before yelping in pain.

Andy smiled. I walked over to him, cautiously.

His smile faded and he looked at the floor.

"Did you bring me here?" I asked quietly.

"Uh… yeah… right after you passed out…"

"uh… what happened…"

"Well… you attempted suicide again – but im sure you remember that. Then you said some stuff and passed out… then I got in my car and drove you to the hospital – I know the doctor – I brought you here because he treated me… when I … uh… yeah… so im glad you're feeling better…"

I looked at him confused. "Really? I thought you'd be glad to see the back of me."

"No." he looked shocked and slightly insulted.

"Oh – I didn't mean It like that, really, I just thought… uh…"

After ages of long silence I finally spoke.

"Look. What I said before… I… don't know what to say, I mean… I was a total brat about it… and…" I couldn't finish. It may have been bratty, but wasn't what I had said true.

Andy got up. He strode over to me and I caught a glimpse of him before looking back down at the floor.

Surprisingly he put his arm around my shoulders and (stupidly) I shrank away. I still considered myself as only a fan… well it was true…

_I'm just a fan. I'm just a fan who stupidly fell in love with someone, who doesn't even care about them back – _

"Of course I care about you!" He jumped in his defence and then regained himself…. He went red… I mean he went really red… and just looking at him made me go red.

"You're wrong…" I said. "You don't care about me… you don't care at all – you just feel obliged to care about me because you feel responsible for a lot of the things that have happened to me. But you shouldn't. Because… I'm going back to school… and back to my… my… crappy little life…and…" I couldn't finish. What the hell was I saying?

"You're… You're going back…?" He asked in surprise.

"I am?" I asked, equally as surprised as him!

"I'll uh… let you get changed…" he said, walking out and shutting the door behind him.

_Great._ I thought. _I could have been gracious and okay about it all and said that I had things to sort out… but no… I couldn't even tell him that much without screwing it up…_

I put my clothes on and folded the gross hospital ones up on the bed.

I pulled the covers up on the bed and made sure everything was tidy. Then I twisted the handle of the door to find Andy's back to me.

"Shall we go?" I asked.

"…Yeah…"

He picked up his leather jacket and we left the hospital.


	18. Chapter 18

**A Long Drive**

I stared miserably out of the window, watching the condensation roll down it.

Andy was driving. We were in his car – the tour bus was still in the parking lot, but we didn't have time to go back for it… well that's what he said anyway…

I was cold in my skirt, and my corset (the corset I had worn in the future… well that was a weird thought.)

My stockings weren't exactly the warmest thing in the world either!

The grey road outside kept zipping past.

"So…" Andy began. "What's school like….?"

Great. Not only did I feel depressed and nervous about going back – I now felt like Andy was my Dad asking me how my first day of school had gone!

I thought of it. My Dad when I was in kindergarten had asked me how my first day had gone. I tried to smile, as I didn't want to worry him, but instead I ended up with tears flooding down my face, begging him to never let me go back again. Nothing much had changed in 15 years.

"It's great." I said sarcastically . "Every lunch time if you're a good girl in lessons they let you go in for lunch first." I hated being so sarcastic and bitter. "Sorry." I finished.

"S'OK." He said putting his warm hand on my bony knee.

Now I felt like a real douche. I was so nervous I thought that even _he_ could hear my heart beating.

"Hey you're cold. I'll put the heating on!" He said quickly.

I nodded my thanks. I can't believe I was being such a cold bitch!

We drove past my school… probably not intentionally.

Without realising it, tears began rolling down my face.

"Hey, I used to go to school there!" Andy said pointing out of the window. "What's up." he asked.

What was I meant to say? I didn't want him to think that I was crying over going back to school. I didn't want him to know that I was going to school there because then he might think that I was stalking him… although I didn't know that he went to school there, and a little pride went through me –

"Are you okay?" he asked again, his face serious.

"Yeah." I said.

"So why are you crying?"

"Uhh… Period Pain…" I said, before mentally beating the hell outta myself for saying such a disgusting and disturbing thing… to a guy…

He looked back on at the steering wheel, not saying anything, eyebrows raised.

"Sorry!" I jumped in. "That's gross- but it is a fact of life – I mean it's not like im gonna leak all over your car or anything – I wearing stuff and…."

Andy shoved his fingers in his ears. "LALALALALALA!" He began.

I laughed. I laughed for the first time in ages. He removed his fingers from his ears. "It's good to see you smile."

I was shocked. "Uh… Thanks?"

"So, uh… about your… uh… girl problem… if you need to stop anywhere just let me know!"

I couldn't help it. I just couldn't stop laughing at him!

"What's so funny?"

"Oh, it's nothing!" I laughed wiping a tear away from my eye. "It's just that men freak out so much about that kinda stuff!"

"We do not!"

"Oh, yeah?"

"yeah. Try me!"

"Okay…." I said and began thinking of something that would freak him out. "I…uh…. I saw you wanking on the bus yesterday!" I said triumphantly.

He nearly jumped out of his seat. Of course I hadn't… he probably didn't even do that kind of thing.

"…Uh… good ammo!" he said uncomfortably.

I burst out laughing. "See… you can't handle anything!".

He laughed too.

So I finally saw something that looked like some of the housing estates near my house.

I got nervous again.

"My parents probably aren't even home!" I began.

I kept babbling about irrelevant things that wouldn't make any difference to the fact that I was going home.

"Look." He said. "You'll be fine. And if you need me… call me…" he said and smiled.

"I don't have your number…" I said dumbly. He smiled.

"Use your telepathy."

"but… can I have your number…?"

"…uh… Okay…"

**Home?**

I let out a sigh as Andy turned the corner to our row of houses.

"Hey." He said looking at me. "You'll be fine… and now you have my number…"

I laughed, but was cut short when I saw… the windows had been smashed in… the door was hanging off its hinges… everything was out of place…

I jumped out of the still moving car and ran towards the wreckage.

"Roxy!" Andy called after me… I could tell he was pissed that I had left his car door open…

I stopped at my front door… well my smashed in front door…

Andy pulled over to the side of the road and ran after me.

"Jesus, Roxy, you shouldn't just jump out of a car like that... it's dangerous!"

"Yeah…" I said. "I could've seriously chipped the paint…. Sorry…." I said. Once again I was being bitchily sarcastic.

"Uh… What do you think happened?" he asked.

"Dunno…" I said. "But I have a horrible feeling that we're about to find out…"

I stepped inside the house.

It was dark and gloomy – the light outside was fading. I reached for the familiar light switch. I flicked it. Nothing. I tried again. Nothing. I looked up. The light had been busted in and there was glass on the floor.

Andy stepped in.

"Maybe the bulb burst…." He offered, trying to sound optimistic.

I walked into the kitchen. There were letters on the table. I looked at them. Marriage counselling bills… wow… that was weird… my Mom and Dad at counselling?

I put them back.

I looked around the room. The light was smashed in again. The cupboard doors hung open. They were bare, bar a few newly moulding pieces of fruit and things.

I looked to my left. The fridge was gone… just gone… wait… no..

As I made my way around the corner, I saw it lying on the floor… im guessing that was empty too.

"What the hell happened…?" I asked half to myself.

Andy stepped forward onto a piece of broken glass.

"Uhh…" He said. "Im gonna park my car in your drive, is that okay?"

"Sure." I said, still a little confused. Where was my Dad's car?

I came to the conclusion that my Mom and Dad had had a fight again and Dad had left with everything, and Mom had gone round to someone's house… now I saw what my Dad saw… my Mom really was a whore…

I thought over it, then brushed the thought away. I didn't care what my Mom did.

Andy re-appeared in my doorway.

We had travelled for at least 9 hours in the car… he must have been exhausted.

"Wanna stay for a while?" I asked before laughing at the state of the place.

"…Uh… are you sure…" he asked.

"Yeah, it's the least I can do – you drove me home for 9 fucking hours…" I said.

"Where's your parents?"

"No idea… Well Dad's car's gone… and there's no sign of my Mom. I'm guessing she went round to someone's house for a while… fucking prostitute!" I said and spat out the word.

"Okaaay… so… uh…um…"

"Here, I'll, uh.. show you to the spare bedroom…" I said awkwardly.

"What about uh…" Andy looked towards the door.

"oh, that?" I went over and kicked it back into place, before doing up the locks and making sure it would hold. "I'll fix that properly later."

He nodded and followed me up the stairs.

I went into the spare bedroom. I looked around. Another light bulb had been smashed. The bed covers had been ripped, and feathers lay all over the bed. The carpet had all been ripped. I shut the door quickly.

"You better have my room." I said.

He didn't argue.


	19. Chapter 19

**Grocery Shopping**

Because Andy had agreed to stay for a while (the tour was over), he decided to help me shape up the house.

"Im starving." I moaned.

"So you don't have any food in her at all?" Andy asked searching all my broken cupboards.

"Well unless you want mouldy peaches for supper, no."

He shut the cupboard door on one of the cupboards which then just fell off its hinges.

He held it in his hand and looked up at me. I couldn't help but laugh at it. "Put it on the counter, ill fix that later too!"

My stomach grumbled loudly again. I sat on a half broken chair… well perched – I didn't want to break anything!

A few minutes went by.

Andy's stomach grumbled this time. I looked up at him and then anywhere else but at him.

More minutes passed.

Our stomachs both grumbled loudly. "Right. That's it. We're going out to eat, and then we're buying food. You got money?" he said.

"Hold on two moments." I said and went into the lounge. I pulled up a board in the floor. Money. Loads of it. There must have been at least 1million there. As a kid I had seen my Mom put it here. Then my dad found it and she took it all out. Then I found it all and hid it again. I used to take some of my Dad's money to make sure he didn't spend it _all_ on alcohol, and because i thought we deserved it more than him… I took mom's money too…

I began putting notes in my pockets.

Andy came in. "Holy shit." He said.

"I've been saving up for a while…" I said dryly.

"I can tell…"

I put the board back down and put the nail back over it and into the floor.

We made our way out of the house.

**Shopping**

We were in the middle of the store and pondering over which flavour ice cream to get.

"Chocolate Dream." I said, putting it into the basket.

"Triple Chocolate." He said taking it out of my hand and putting his in the basket.

I put the basket down. "There's really only one way to settle this." I said.

"Which is?"

"We get both."

"Fine by me."

So we went on like that. Being stupid and messing around. It was the first time I had ever thought that grocery shopping was fun.

Then there was a wine testing thing.

"Want to try our fine wine." And elderly woman asked me as I walked past.

"Sure."

I took a pot. (They had it in those weird little testing pots.)

"You wanna try, Andy?" I asked, not drinking mine until he got one.

"Nah, im driving." He said.

I held one out to him. He smiled and pushed it away.

I shrugged and chucked down mine and his.

"Be careful!" The sales assistant warned. "that's got very high alcohol content!"

"Woah. What the hell is in this crap!" I said, before puking on the floor.

…

"COME BACK WITH YOUR PARENTS!" The sales assistant yelled at us from the door…

Well we'd done our shopping…and got thrown out of the store… mainly for puking everywhere (well that was me) and then the manager had come out and somehow he had found out that I was underage…

"…Wont be going there again for a while." I said.

Andy looked at me. He laughed.

**A Long Night**

The night started out okay enough. Me and Andy sat in the lounge on one of the less broken chairs.

Well… Andy sat on a chair – it wasn't big enough for two… well it was, but I felt like that was a little weird.

I dug into my pot of ice cream with a spoon, and threw him one.

"Yum… Chocolate Dream…" I said, before entirely tucking in.

Andy started digging in to his too.

Eventually he put his tub down. There was half of it left. "Are you finished?" I asked.

"Yeah. That's really sweet!" he said.

"Here try some of this, this isn't _that_ sweet. We'll swap!"

I passed him my tub and he passed me his. "Wow. This is a good supper! How can this be too sweet?" I said.

He didn't answer, just got on with eating my ice cream.

After a while I decided that I wanted to get into my pyjamas.

"Im gonna go get changed." I said to Andy and placed my tub of finished ice cream on the floor.

"Sure." He said.

"Do you have any stuff?" I asked him, getting kinda worried that he might be staying here for a week or so, and not have any different clothes or anything.

"I don't think so." He said.

"Well, I'll sort something out when I come back down!" I said, smiling at him. He smiled back.

I began undressing, throwing things in a heap on the floor afterwards.

I looked at myself in the length long mirror. I could see my ribs through my skin. In fact – it looked like my skin had been stretched over my ribs. It wasn't that bad anywhere else, just my ribs. I was thin, don't get me wrong, but I wasn't like a human skeleton or anything –

_Knock knock!_

The door opened. I turned to see Andy at my door – and flinched away from him – I was only in my underwear!

"SORRY!" he said and turned away. I found my dressing gown, and wrapped it around myself. It was black silk.

"It's okay, come in." I said.

"I was just gonna ask you something." He said.

"Sure. What's up."

"Well… is it okay if I get the tour bus I your drive too – it has all my stiff on it."

"Oh, sure… but that means you'll have to go and get it."

"not necessarily…" he said suspiciously.

"What do you mean."

"Well…. I told you that all of us band members have a secret or power or whatever… Im a vampire, Jinxx can mess with time, Ashley's a were-wolf, and Sandra can teleport things. I could ask her to teleport the bus here."

"Cool!" I said.

"Right, I'll just tell her." He said and whipped out his phone.

"So how long will this_" BANG! "…take…"

I went to my window and sure enough, there was the tour bus, on the front lawn.

"I hope nobody saw that!" I said.

I yawned. "IM really tired, I'll go to bed. If you need anything, im just across the hall!" I said and left for the war-stricken spare bedroom!

I got in there and began to stuff the feathers back into the duvet.

After about an hour of stuffing, I decided to go downstairs for a drink.


	20. Chapter 20

**A Long Night Continued**

I walked upstairs with a cup of hot cocoa in my hands.

I passed Andy's room in the hall. I couldn't hear any snoring like I had in the hotel… not even heavy breathing.

The door was open slightly. I pushed it gently.

Andy was lying on his back, staring all around my room – I should've known it would freak him out! After all, I did have posters of him all over my walls. There were random posters and lyrics everywhere!

I walked in the door. "Hi, Roxy." He said and sat up. He wasn't wearing a top.

"You're not sleeping in my bed naked right?" I winced.

"No." he said "I'm wearing boxers."

"Oh, good. You alright? I mean, I can take all those down, if you want."

"No, no. It's fine. Im just kinda happy that our band meant so much to you."

"So do you want anything?" I asked, blushing slightly.

"Oh, Im alright, but thanks."

I smiled and turned in the doorway.

"You can stay if you want!" he protested.

Every cell in my body was telling me to turn around and laugh with him all night, but my brain said 'No' so I had to go.

"I better get some sleep." I said, putting my hand on the handle. "Goodnight, Andy." I didn't bother shutting the door, I just walked down the hall as fast as I could, not caring if he replied or not.

I sat down on the bed. The duvet was going to need sewing back up in a lot of places – it looked like I had been slashed with a razor!

I got the sewing kit from downstairs and began working on it, while drinking my cocoa.

With one last slurp, I finished the cocoa and set it back on the side. I wondered why it was that my room had been untouched.

I cut the string.

I began stitching another hole up –

Something dripped on my forehead.

_Damnit I hope the roof isn't leaking again!_ I thought.

I wiped it off my forehead and continued – I looked at my arm out of the corner of my eye… what was that –

Another drip on my head. I touched it. Red…

I smelt it…. _Blood._

I screached loudly. "!"

Within seconds Andy was in the room. I had moved off the bed. Blood was now dripping all over the bed. There were splats on the sheets.

He looked at the bed. "If this is to do with your… girl thing… then i can't help you…" he said uncomfortably.

"no…" I said and pointed towards the ceiling. He followed my gaze.

"Uhh…" It was leaking from the opening of the attic and where the floor boards in the attic were weak.

"What is it…?" I asked, shaking.

"Blood… I thought you would've smelt that."

"Yes, but what from?"

He shrugged. "Only one way to find out…." He said.

"No no no…. You have to be kidding…."

**Exploring the house**

Andy was now dressed. I was still in my underwear and dressing gown.

We got a ladder from the conservatory, and went upstairs.

I pushed the bed out the way.

I jumped for the cord that opened the door. I caught it and looked at Andy.

I was scared… but I didn't want to show it.

I tugged on the cord. It was stiff, but it finally gave way. Just then a tidal wave surged over my head, drenching me… in blood…

I gasped.

I looked over at Andy, who didn't look sure whether or not to laugh or be shocked.

I blinked and stood still. My house coat was now hanging off me, drenched, leaving my drenched bra and stomach completely exposed.

I laughed uneasily. He looked at me. "So… are you going up, or_"

"Im freezing…" I said.

"It's because you're wearing wet clothes."

"I know… but I can't take them off, because you're here!"

"I don't mind…" he said.

I couldn't help but laugh. Off course he would say that – he was a guy! But if he didn't mind, then why should I care.

I took my house coat off and went into the bathroom to find a towel to dry myself off with.

I found a towel and began wiping the blood off. I dried my hair, but it was stained, now, with a weird kind of red-ish shine… it looked kinda cool, actually.

I went back to my bedroom. I looked through my drawers and found nothing that was loose.

"Andy!" I called.

"Yeah." Came the reply. He was walking along the hall towards me. He came in the room.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I was just wandering if I could wear one of your shirts…." I said.

He looked at me weirdly. "Uhh… why…?"

"Oh. Because I want to wear something loose and comfortable and I really wanna wear one of your shirts…" it sounded weird even to me.

He looked at me. "…Okay…" He said. "Oh. Uhh… do you have a torch?"

"Oh. There's a light up there." I said.

"Yeah. It's been smashed in too."

"Oh, I'll get you one." I said and rummaged through my drawers a bit. I finally found one. I handed it to him and asked him which top I could wear.

He said he didn't mind so I picked out one. It was massive… I loved it…

Andy was already out of the room. I stepped into the spare bedroom. He was already beginning to climb the ladder.

He smiled before vanishing into the darkness.

I had a torch in my hand, and began to climb the ladder. I had never liked climbing ladders. I switched on the torch and put the end of it in my mouth so I could use both hands to climb.

Andy reached down, kneeling on the dirty attic floor. He put his hand out to me. I took it and he pulled me up.

"Thanks." I said and dusted myself off.

My torch flickered and went out, which meant we were left with Andy's dim one. "Well that didn't last long, did it?" I said sarcastically and dropped it through the hatch of the attic door.

There was blood dripping from the ceiling. I looked up. There didn't appear to be anything amongst the rafters, but –

"There." Andy said pointing. I moved closer to him, so I could follow his line of sight. I did.

His torch was crap, so I could only make out a shadowy bundle.


	21. Chapter 21

**A Dark Bundle**

I moved forward and took Andy's torch. I shone it straight up to find that only one of the light bulbs in the room hadn't been smashed. I switched it on. It flickered for a while before settling.

We were now in the middle of the loft. The light was only in the middle of the room too, so it cast dark shadows all around the edges.

I stepped forward and my foot hit something. I knelt down to inspect it.

_... A rope…?_

"Y'know what this reminds me of?" I said to Andy, who shrugged.

"That show called nightmare on thingy street…"

"Nightmare on elm street?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Why."

"Cause I just know that something's gonna jump outta somewhere and make me scared outta my wits!"

He laughed. "Yeah, I got that feeling too!"

"So where d'you suppose this rope goes…?" I asked holding it up.

"Dunno… why don't you pull it?"

I shrugged as if to say 'Yeah, why not.'

There was a pile of rope just strewn all over the floor. I reeled it in towards me.

"Maybe my Dad just left some rope hanging around…" I suggested. "…Andy…?"

"Im here." I looked over my shoulder to find him in one of the darker corners of the attic. "There's a rope here too…" he said. "See if there's more…."

I looked around… no… no more ropes.

"Okay… on three we pull them." I said. He nodded. Im not sure why I was so afraid of pulling a rope. "One… Two… Three!" I said and pulled my rope.

Something fell from the rafters and the light flickered, went off and fell to the floor… along with the mysterious dark bundle... "Shit…" I squeaked.

…

"Andy, are you there?" I asked, my voice barely more than a whisper.

"Yeah… Im trying to find my – aha!" he said and a flame of light was now in the attic, just illuminating his face. "Gotta find that torch, Roxy. Do you know where you put it?"

"No idea."

"Got it!" he said triumphantly and switched it on.

He shone it around the room until he found me, then he came over.

"Are you okay?" he asked, helping me up.

"Yeah… where does your rope lead?"

"What – oh right. Nothing, It just reeled and fell. What about yours?"

"It pulled something off the rafter, and that's when the light shattered. I cut myself on the glass when it fell."

"Roxy, I told you not to do that to yourself!" he scolded.

"Not like that you moron!" I yelled. "A piece fell onto my back, so I have glass stuck in my back. I fell and cut my hand and leg on some glass to, I didn't literally pick up some glass and start cutting myself with it… Jeeze…"

"Really, oh. You hold the torch." He said.

"Why?"

"Im gonna get that glass outta your back."

"Oh, okay." I took the torch, and then handed it back to him. "You're not gonna find it."

"Why."

"Because it fell down my – _your_ top, and im not taking the top off!"

"Well, you're gonna have to, if you want me to get it out." He smirked.

"It does hurt…." I said, ignoring Andy's natural pervy man instincts.

I took the top off, so I was standing in my underwear (yet again).

"Shit." He said.

"What is it?"

"It's cut all the way down your back! And then embedded itself in your back – its gonna hurt to get it out, you might wanna see a doctor or something – I don't wanna do something wrong."

"Okay." I said and put his top back on.

"Right… let's go back downstairs, find some lights and see what the hell's up here." He said began finding his way down the ladder.

"…Or we could just get the hell outta here…" I offered hopefully.

**What the – ARGH!**

Andy took the ladder out of the hatch. I shivered as he shut the attic trap door.

"What time is it?" he asked.

I looked around the room. The clock was smashed, but all the same, still ticking. It read; 7:55.

I looked outside. Wow. We'd been in the attic for ages.

"The doctor's opens at 8, we can go in a little while." I said.

"Why – oh yeah… are you going to be wearing your clothes, or… wearing my clothes… or…"

"I'll put some stuff on" I laughed, and went into my room.

I came out in skinny jeans and a loose hoody (I wasn't wearing a top underneath, as I didn't have anything loose enough, and I didn't want to make Andy's tops drenched in blood.

"So… don't you have to book an appointment…?" he asked.

"Nah. We'll just go to the emergency room – it's closer too."

"Right. So… I guess im driving."

"You got it."

...

"Okay, you just gotta pull up on the left." I said, pointing out the front window.

We did and he parked. "So…its seven past eight now… they're gonna be open?"

"Yeah." I said and stepped out the door, shutting it gently behind me.

"Hows your back?" he asked.

I really had no idea that this would have been so awkward!

"Uh. Painful?" Obviously, it wasn't the question that was awkward. It was the whole thing – even the air seemed tight and awkward.

He nodded, and pushed open the door. "Thanks" I said.

The receptionist looked up. "Hello, Roxy, your mother missed her appointment the other day, is she okay?"

"I don't know." I said slowly. "I haven't seen her in a while, I think she must be staying at a friend's house or something."

"Right. How can I help you then?"

"I need an appointment, because I cut my back."

Her formidable old fashioned brown eyes widened and fixed on me. "You stupid girl! People were spreading rumours about you doing that sort of thing, but I told myself it was a lie! Well I think you should suffer – I'm not going to give you an appointment if your going to hurt yourself in that way_"

"Mrs Ellis!" I yelled. "I didn't literally cut myself! A light bulb smashed and I got cut. Can I have an appointment please."

"Oh. Well why didn't you say that earlier. Yes of course, go right in."

I walked forward, and looked at Andy, raising my eyebrows. He tried not to laugh.

…

"So what's the damage today?" asked my family doctor.

"Well, long story short, we were in the attic and the light bulb smashed and it cut my back. Oh, yeah. And then I moved and cut my hand and leg…"

"Well, lets have a look shall we? If you'd like to remove your top please."

I looked at him gone out. It hadn't occurred to me that I would have to take off my top – how dumb was that…

I looked back at Andy, who was desperately trying not to burst out laughing.

I looked at the doctor again, and he was looking persistently at me.

I slowly removed my hoodie, and subconsciously looked back at Andy for support… which didn't happen…

The doctor told me to turn around so he could examine my back. I did.

"Right. That will need to come out straight away." He said. "If you'd like to take the seat next to your, uh, friend…"

I did. "Hey, this is gonna hurt, you wanna squeeze my hand?" Andy joked, to make the situation less awkward.

"Nah, I don't want to break your hand!" I said back.

He laughed to himself as if to say 'you couldn't break my hand if you tried'.

The doctor came over with a surgical scalpel, and some tweezers.

I gulped at the scalpel.

The doctor pulled up a chair behind the stool I was sitting on. "Wow. This really lodged itself in your back, didn't it." He Said.

He got the scalpel and dug it deep in my back. "OW!" I yelped.

"Sorry. Never used one of these before." He said and carried on randomly hacking at my back. With another hack my hand found Andy's and I gripped it hard. With both eyebrows raised he slowly looked down at our linked hands.

"OW!" I said again, looking over my shoulder.

"Okay then, let's try a different approach." The doctor said, putting the scalpel down… and pulling a pair of long tweezers out.

"W-what about the small ones." I asked pointing pathetically over my shoulder.

"what about them?" he asked.

"Cant you use them?"

"No. They're for when ive cut enough to get it out. Right then, please lean forward." He said and gave no warning before he dug the tweezers into my back.

I squeezed Andy's hand hard. "Ow." He said and looked down at our hands again.

The doctor twisted and turned them and im not entirely sure what he was trying to achieve by it all when –

A sudden twist cause me to squeeze Andy's hand so hard I heard it crack!

"I thought you said you didn't want to break my hand!" he gasped in pain.

"I said I didn't _want_ to, not that I wasn't _going_ to!" I gasped back.

"Sorry, but I cant seem to get this out, in fact I actually drove it deeper!" the doctor said lightly laughing. I stared at him in disbelief.

"What?" I asked quietly.

"Your going to have to get it out yourself." He said simply, and sat down behind his desk and told us to leave.

**Hey guys. Just wanna say that im probably not gonna be able to post as much as normal because im back at school and everything and we have this huge new project to do and… yeah… I got no time… I will try and post, but it might be a while – I don't know when I can finish the project…**


	22. Chapter 22

**OUCH!**

I flung myself in the car before doubling over in pain from my back. Andy hopped in too.

"What the hell kinda doctor is that?" he asked.

"I don't know. I cannot believe he said that! Is he even qualified?" I cried.

He raised one eyebrow. "So I guess we're gonna have to get this out." He said, before putting his keys into the ignition.

The car started smoothly and he pulled out of the lot and onto the road. "Yeah…" I said.

After a while of awkward silence and lots of pain on my behalf, Andy spoke. "So when are you meant to be going back to school?"

I looked up. I hadn't thought of that… in fact I had subconsciously tried not to.

"Uhh… last Tuesday…?" I said, guessing.

"Oh, right_"  
"Please don't make me go back!" I started "You have no idea! I cant go back I CANT! Please don't make me!_"  
"Hey, hey… calm down." He laughed. "I hate to sound like an old man or something, but you gotta go to school."

I looked down at my feet. "I don't want to…"

"Yeah… when I was at school, I would NEVER have gone back…"

The thought of school made me sad – and what was I going to do now that Posy wasn't there? What was I meant to say about that? Even just thinking about walking through the school gates without her made me want to cry. As the tears welled up in my eyes, I turned away from Andy and let them fall.

"Hey, what's up, you feelin' okay?" he asked.

"Im fine." I said, trying to stop my voice from shaking.

I could tell that he didn't believe me, but I didn't care. I just sat staring miserably out of the window. "Hey look it's raining." Andy said. "That's weird."

I nodded. It was kinda weird. It said It would be 'sunny spells all day, and not a cloud in sight'… guess they were wrong…

We got nearer the house, and I started to feel better. In fact I'd stopped crying.

"Hey look" Andy said, pointing out the window. "Rainbow…"

"Oh yeah." I said, looking at the full bow.

The car stopped and I just sat looking at my hands.

"Shall we go in?" Andy asked, abruptly.

"Yeah."

I got up and went back into the house.

As is walked into the bathroom, I shut the door behind me. Right. Tweezers… where were the tweezers… I looked through the cupboards and shelves until o found them.

_knock knock. _

"Can I come in?" Andy asked.

I opened the door and held up the tweezers. "What. Now?" He asked.

"Yup. I want this thing outta my back." I said before grabbing his arm and pulling him downstairs and shoving him into an arm chair. He blinked.

I pulled up the foot rest and pulled off my top before sitting down.

"Here ya go." I said, passing him the tweezers.

"Yeah. This is really gonna hurt." He said, warningly. "You sure you don't wanna go to a _real_ doctor?"

"Im fine here, just please can you get it out!"

"I'll try." He said.

So he began trying to get it out of my back, and I began 'Ow'-ing a lot!

**School Again**

"One last pull." Andy said and wrenched it out of my back.

I gasped and jumped up with the pain, turning to face him. He held up the shard with one eyebrow raised, a smile playing on his lips. I couldn't believe how big it was! Blood oozed down my back, but I didn't care – I was just so happy it was out (and I was dizzy from the blood loss).

I lurched forward, hugging him… well more collapsing on him…

"Uh… Your welcome…" he said. "Hey, your back…"

"It's fine… go ahead… I know your hungry…" I said.

He hesitated at first, but then drew me closer. I sprawled myself across his legs as best as I could.

"You sure?" he asked one more time, lowering his head.

I nodded… it was all I could manage.

He brought his head down and began taking long gulps. I felt the blood leaving me. It felt like the most amazing thing ever. He withdrew but not before sealing the wound.

I felt so drowsy. It must have been the blood loss (again).

He helped to prop me up next to him in the chair and lowered his neck, pulling his hair away.

"I couldn't." I said. I couldn't take from him. Not after everything he had done for me. Every bone in my body was pulling away and wouldn't let me.

He looked at me. "Why…" He knew that I had never refused blood before and even if I had I couldn't resist it once I saw it/ smelt it, so he dug his nail into his flesh. I watched the blood well up. Beautiful, crimson, warm and thick…

"How bout now…." He tried.

I couldn't take it. I even tried to pull forward, but I just couldn't do it.

He looked at me. "That's not natural. I don't know what it is, but there's some crazy emotion that's conflicting with your instincts, and it wont let you drink…"  
"Its okay… I don't wanna drink… i.. cant anyway, so…"

"Just try." He said.

"No, really I cant."

He sighed before pushing my mouth to his neck. "Sorry, Roxy, but you gotta drink… you don't drink, you get weak, then you die."

I gagged, and tried to pull away. "Stop" I tried but it was muffled, as a load of his blood flooded into my mouth. It tasted great! It was rich and warm and thick.

Finally he let me be, and I leaned back against the chair arm.

Suddenly my stomach lurched, I sat up immediately and ran to the bathroom – I was surprised I didn't vomit before I got there!

"BLEEUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRR!"

"Hey, man are you okay?"

I was about to turn around and say I was fine when – "BLEURGH!"

When I was sure I had finished, I wiped my mouth and looked at what I had puked…. Blood…

"Do you think it was something that you ate?" Andy asked. But I hadn't eaten anything, so that didn't make sense.

Before I knew it, he was beside me, looking at his blood in the toilet!I flushed, before he could properly see anything – I didn't want him to think that something was wrong with me, and I didn't want to insult him… after all…. If someone had just puked up litres of my blood I'd feel at least a little pissed off…

"So, then… that was all blood, huh…?" Andy said.

I flinched and didn't dare look at him. "Hey don't worry about it." He said, but I could tell that he was pissed.

"Im sorry, i….." I tried, but ended up running out of the bathroom and locking myself in the spare bedroom (He was using my room.).

I rested my head on the headboard and let myself cry. _I_ knew what was wrong with me… but how could I tell him. And I didn't want him reading my thoughts so I put up a barrier in my mind and hoped that that would do it!

He had said that there was a conflicting emotion that was messing with the instincts.

Well… then I figured that the only emotion that could possibly be conflicting with them was something I had never felt whilst drinking from him before.

Well I had been angry, sad, happy, excited, and nervous and many other things when I had drank from him in the past… but never… well what the hell was I feeling? I hardly _knew_ myself! I wasn't even sure why I was crying… but… I felt so weird.

Before I knew what I was doing I had unlocked the door and was going out to apologise.

He was in my room on his phone. "Yeah… I think you should come… no really, I need your help… I know, I know… but I have to know… yeah… well just ask Sandra, im sure she'd help you… thank you so much, I'll see you soon… yeah, bye…" Then he put the phone down.

"You're not leaving are you?" I asked, trying not to sound as pathetic as I felt.

"No." he said. "Im just getting some help with something_"  
"Hey, guys… the door was unlocked, so I let myself in… But you don't mind, do you, Roxy?"


	23. Chapter 23

**I've decided that im going to make you wait to find out what the bundles are… although you probably already know… its mainly because I started writing this chapter and kinda forgot about them, but you will find out soon…ish…probably….**

**You have got to be kidding**

I looked around the room in despair.

Why was _he_ here.

"He's here to help." Andy offered.

"No, no, no… You invited… _Him_ into _my_ house…" I said.

"Well I can tell where I'm not wanted." Johnny said, and turned to leave, even though I knew he wouldn't… so I ignored him…

"Look, he can help." Andy said.

I walked out the room, running my fingers through my hair, feeling like I was going to scream.

I went downstairs and saw that there was a message on my answer phone. I pushed button '2' and heard:

"Hey, Roxy, it's Joe. We all miss you at school, where are you? Oh, and Posy, too… do you know where she is? Oh, also… uh… you wanna come over sometime…? I mean… any time's good, and I realise that you haven't been over for…. 10 years…. So… better wrap this up, so that im not clogging up your machine… so… come by anytime… Bye…"

Maybe that was just what I needed… to see an old friend.

I grabbed my boots and keys and left, shutting the door loudly behind me.

…

_Knock knock knock_

The door opened a crack. "JOE! ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR LITTLE EMO BUDDIES IS HERE!"

Then the door slammed. I heard a load of banging, and then a flustered Joe appeared in the doorway. "Hey, Roxy." He grinned.

I met him in a hug. "Wow… I take it you got my message." He said, slowly hugging back.

I let go and tried not to keep my emotions in check…

"Are you okay?" He asked.

I nodded, afraid that if I opened my mouth, I would tell him everything… or cry…

"Come in." he said and shut the door behind him. "All the guys are up in my room on the PS3 and Xbox… so, yeah, come up… are you hungry? Here ill get you a drink." He said and ran into the kitchen. "I'll meet you upstairs." He called. I went up to his bedroom… I vaguely remembered where it was…

I hadn't been here for 10 years, he was right. Me and Joe had known each other since the beginning of time, practically! We used to hang out all the time… in fact we still did at school… but I hadn't been to his house for years.

Just then I heard a load of cheering and boo-ing… I decided to follow the noise, and rightly enough, it led me to his bedroom.

I pushed the door open, and it squeaked, loudly. All heads turned. "Hey, Roxy." A familiar voice said.

I then saw Mike sitting in the corner of the room, with Mal.

"Hey, Mike."

Just then I heard someone coming up the stairs behind me. I turned to see Joe with a big cooler in his hands, and a grin on his face.

I stepped aside, to make room for him to get through. All the guys looked at him, Xbox still on pause from when I came in. "Mom just went out, she'll be gone for the rest of the weekend, so we got the whole house and all the alcohol to ourselves!" He said, and I found myself cheering along with all the others, as well as accepting a beer.

I sat on the floor in the corner at the far end of Joe's medium sized bedroom. The games started again, and I felt just as lost here as I did at home. I looked at all the scars on my arms… I hoped that he wouldn't see them; he was really against all that kind of thing. Joe came over and I quickly pulled my hoodie sleeves down.

"I haven't seen you in a while, Roxy, where've you been?" Joe said.

"I've…been… busy?" I really didn't know what he expected from me, and I didn't know what I could tell him.

"Y'know, Roxy…" He began sitting down next to me and wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "There was a time when you used to tell me everything…"

I suddenly felt guilty… He was right. I never used to keep anything from him.

I stood up. "Follow me." I said, taking his hand. We left the room, ignoring the whistles some of the guys did, and ignoring the. "Nice one, Joe!" as well.

Joe laughed lightly, when I sat down on the landing. "So are you going to tell me whats up, yet?"

I didn't know what to tell him. "I don't know what to say…" I said, letting my head rest against the wall.

"Well I have something to tell you, too…" he said uncomfortably. "But you first." He added quickly.

I recalled everything that had happened and buried my face in my hands before letting myself cry freely. I felt comfortable around Joe enough to do that.

He moved closer. "Hey, don't cry, it can't be that bad!" He said.

"How would you know." I flung at him selfishly.

"Try me."

I looked up at him in bewilderment. I wouldn't tell him everything…

"Imagine…" I began. "Feeling so confused… and you feel like you… could just explode and cry every moment you see someone… and that's because you care about that person, and… this is pathetic, I cant believe im telling you any of this." I said, disgusted at myself, and stood up, ready to leave.

He grabbed my arm "Don't go." He pleaded.

I flinched, as he used my arm to get up, it was pulling on my scars.

"You okay?" He asked, concerned. It must have really showed in my face because I really was trying to hide it. "What is it…" He said, frowning.

Then he let go. "You can stay the night if you like…"

I looked up. "Yeah, that would be cool." I didn't want to go home to Johnny, and I knew that he wouldn't leave in a hurry.

**Staying Over**

"Joe, Im hungry!" One of the more rowdy boys called. He had had more alcohol than a lot of us.

Joe raised an eyebrow. "Right, who's got money?"

I reached into my pocket and pulled out some cash.

"Well that's that sorted." He said. "Me and Roxy are going out to get pizza."

"YEAH, PIZZA!" a highly drunk Mike yelled.

Joe took my wrist again, and I shut my eyes, and breathed in deeply, so I didn't scream.

"You okay?" he asked again.

"Just feeling dizzy." I said, truthfully. I hadn't had blood in ages.

"Well, when did you last eat?" Joe said, knowingly. He was one of few who knew I was anorexic.

"I dunno." I said truthfully.

"Well, are you gonna eat the pizza, or…."

"Let's just buy it." I said, grabbing his wrist, before he could mine, and pulling him out the house.

…

"Thanks." I said, as I reached over the counter for the pizza bags. I had bought three.

We walked out of the dimly lit pizza shop, and into the badly lit street.

"I'll pay ya back." Joe said. "How much did it come to?"

"S'okay. I can handle it." I said.

"Soooooooooooo…" began Joe trying to fill the awkward silence. "How's your Mom doing… haven't seen her in….. it would be about…. 11 years now…."

"Who needs that bitch!" I spat out.

We walked in complete silence until we came to the door of his house. "HEY LOOK!" We heard. "JOE GOTTA PIZZA!" Im pretty sure that was Mike.

"So what did you have to tell me?" I asked, as Joe fumbled around for his keys.

He looked up, startled. "Uhh…."

"C'mon, you said you had something to say, so you cant not say it." I said.

He looked down.

"Shit!"

"What."

"Forgot my keys." He said.

I looked up towards his bedroom, to find a completely wasted Mike, with his nose pressed against the window, like kids do in cars. I couldn't help but laugh. He looked like such a moron. Joe followed my gaze, before picking up a rock and throwing it at him.

"What was that for?" I asked, shocked.

"I want them to open the window." He said. Sure enough, a couple seconds later a drunk Mal appeared beside Mike and they opened the window.

"THROW ME DOWN MY KEYS!" Joe called.

Mike and Mal laughed and made some weird noises, before turning away from the window.

"Why didn't you just ask them to open the door…?" I said dryly.

He blinked. "I don't know…"

"Hey, we could always just climb up…" I said, following the way up. Because Joe's room was above the garage directly, and the drainpipe led up and alongside the garage wall and up to the roof… we could climb up there, stand on the garage roof and climb through the window…. I explained this to Joe.

"Sounds, cool." He said.

"Right. I'll give you the pizzas for now, and you can pass the up to me when im up there…" I said and began climbing up the drainpipe.

It was far easier than I expected, and I reached the top in no time.

I looked down to Joe and reached out for the pizza bag. He handed it to me and was soon making his way up the drainpipe… a lot slower than I did…

"Damnit, Roxy, how did you do this so fast?" He asked, clearly struggling.

I laughed lightly. "Here, let me help you." I said and reached down for his hands. He took one hand off the drain and took mine. I pulled him up almost effortlessly… which is saying something, because I had never been that strong… not before I was a vampire anyway…

"Thanks." He said, dusting off his jeans. "Im pretty sure that should have been the other way around…" He said thoughtfully. I shrugged, and turned to the window before seeing it slam shut and Mal press his face up against it. I couldn't help but laugh.

"…Damnit…" Joe said.

"Well…" I began "We have the pizza…"

His face brightened immediately. He took a box of pizza out and set it on the garage roof.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

He looked up with that quirky smile I knew all too well – he had a plan. "Well, are you going to tell me what it is?" I asked.

He looked up and smiled like it was all too easy. "Well. If they see the pizza they'll want it, right?"

"Right…." I said not knowing where he was going with it all.

"So, they'll open the window…" he said.

"Oh, right." I said.

"Which flavour don't you want." He said.

"Uhh… the one with sweet corn on it…? Why?"

"Because it's always better to use the one that you don't want as bait, coz they might shut the window before we get in…" He said.

I nearly laughed at how ridiculous this all was, when all 5 faces ran towards the pizza. The window opened. "FOOOOOOOODD!" Mike screamed and snatched the pizza, running to the other side of the room with it. I looked at Joe and began to laugh as all the other boys chased after him.

Joe nodded towards the window and I put my head, shoulders and arms through. One of the older boys (I think he was called Chris) spotted me and yelled "SHES GETTING IN!" and 3 boys ran towards me with pizza in their hands.

"GET THE BOOZE!" Joe yelled. I grabbed the cooler and pulled it out the window.

"SHE HAS THE BOOZE!" One of the boys yelled and ran towards me with arms out…but they tripped and landed on the window… slamming it on my head…

I was too bemused to even say 'ow' so I just flopped out the window and closed it.

"You okay?" Joe asked me.

"Yeah." I said, trying to stand up, but stumbling round like I was drunk. He caught me and laughed lightly. "Wow, they really whacked your head, didn't they…" I giggled, looking at the three boys with their faces against the window… Then someone threw a shoe at the window and yelled. "JOES GOT A GIRLFRIEND!" Well that certainly woke me up. I shrank away from him, looking at the floor… well the garage roof…

"Hey." Joe said, grabbing the bag with two pizzas left. "Wanna see something cool…?"

I looked up at him, suddenly feeling anxious about Andy again.

"You'll like it, I promise." He said.

"Sure." I said.

"Right." He smiled. "Follow me."

He handed me the pizza bag and began climbing up the drainpipe, further.

When he appeared to be on the roof, he held out his hands for the pizza bag. I handed it to him (well more threw it to him) and he appeared again with his hands out.

"S'okay, I can climb." I said.

"I know, im just worried coz I heard it crack when I got up here is all." He said and I laughed.

"I'll try it anyway." I said.

I began climbing swiftly up the pipe and in no time I was at the top.

I looked at Joe who was sitting in silent awe.

"What."

"It still amazes me every time I see you do that…" he said.

I smiled. "So what was so amazing that you wanted to show me up here?" I asked.

"Wait." He said, putting his beer down. "Shut your eyes."


	24. Chapter 24

**Old Times**

"Can I open my eyes yet?" I asked.

"Not yet…okay… now…"

I opened my eyes and found myself looking at me and Joe's old den. We had made one on my house too… I had completely forgotten about them…

"Remember…?" He asked.

"Of course!" I cried in delight, moving towards it. "Is all our stuff still in there?"

"Haven't touched it…" he said, blushing slightly. "See, Roxy… when you stopped coming here… well… I was lost without you… and I only just got you back… and then… you left and we hadn't seen you since_" He stopped suddenly. "What the hell am I saying? You wanna go in, right?"

I grinned. "Sure."

He pulled the rock aside and found the handle. He twisted it and the door gave way. He could open it by himself now… when we were 5 it was heavy because we had built bricks on it with Joe's Dad. "Then it will camouflage with the rest of the house" Joe's Dad had said. That was before his accident. He died instantly, but I could tell it still hurt Joe.

"Lady's first." Joe said. I went into the little room. It had originally been an extension to the house, but the previous owners of the house bricked it up, they didn't want it, so we used it as a hideout.

"It's just how I remember it!" I cried.

"Yeah." Joe said. "What the hell?"

"What is it?" I asked.

"I thought I heard a car… and Moms not home for the whole weekend… and Debbie's out with friends for the weekend…" (Debbie is his sister)

"Maybe they came home early…" I suggested, knowing I was wrong… I mean, it was Saturday night…

"I'll go investigate… you can look around…" He said.

I looked around at the room where I had spent most of my 4-5year old life... There was the desk, right where we'd left it. I walked over to it, my boots clanking on the floor softly. A thick layer of dust had settled over everything. I picked up a piece of paper from the desk. I couldn't make out anything on it, so I blew gently and the dust flew away. It was a picture… Of me and Joe. We were both about 5… It was at his party… I remembered it crystal clear. I was the only person he had invited. I had my face painted as a member of Kiss (Peter Criss) and he had his done as Gene Simmons… We were both pulling that really cheesy grin, with both eyes shut tight, that kids do… It was adorable –

"Uhhh…. You don't know some random with a black catalac, do you?" Joe asked.

I automatically knew that it was Andy.

I clanked across the floor and pushed the door aside, feeling nervous.

I stepped out of our den and was greeted by a warm breeze, blowing my hair around. I looked over the roof…

"So, you know those guys then?" Joe asked, a hint of scorn in his voice.

Johnny was out there, examining the house with a cool arrogance that made me want to laugh, but also made me want to go down there and hit him.

Andy stepped out the car, hands in pockets. My heart jumped and I felt shy.

"Well, are you going to go with them, or stay here." He said.

I paused for a long while, my mind whirring with loads of thoughts. "I think…" I began. "I need a beer…"

Joe moved towards the cooler and got out two beers. I dreamily reached out for them both and chugged them down. Soon I was drunk… and happily ignoring the two guys that had already got back into the car… I guess they were waiting for me… but by now I didn't care.

Joe was drunk too… we were both dancing on the roof.

A clanking noise made us look down. We saw that all the guys from his room were climbing out onto the garage roof to watch the show.

Mike yelled something loudly, but it was all slurred and I didn't really hear him anyway.

I looked down to the porch to see both Andy and Nicolas looking completely pissed off.

I decided to rub things in their faces a little – after all, I was pissed and dancing on the roof, while he was pissed and sitting in his car… I know which one I'd choose any day…

Suddenly Joe grabbed my waist, pulling my attention away from the car, and back to him.

"I know wadda do!" I slurred loudly.

"Wha?" Joe slurred after me.

"LETS TANGOOO!" I yelled.

The guys below got their phones out and started videoing it, but we didn't care.

Me and Joe started moving, and we were surprisingly good at it… in fact... really good at it… especially considering we were drunk…

With each sensual move, brought hysterical giggles, and soon we were doing some really weird moves and lifts I never thought I could do before!

Joe grabbed my ass, which brought a load of beeping from the car, but I didn't care, I just giggled.

Andy got out of the car. "ROXY!" He called. I ignored him, but I could still feel Joe tense up a little.

"ROXY, YOUR GONNA HURT YOURSELF!" He called.

I, again, ignored him, and Joe began running his hands up and down my body. This made me feel a little uncomfortable, and I think he realised that, so he stopped. There was still a load of raucous beeping coming from the car, which meant that Johnny was having fun…

Just then Joe, tilted me over, the way that they do when they're gonna kiss you and I tried zoning into Andy's mind… I was automatically blocked out.

Joe was leaning in, and considering Andy didn't care at all, I leaned in too.

We were kissing… it was… weird… not bad weird, but a little too… weird for my liking.

This caused a huge long beep from the car.

Joe was now running his hands from my waist, to my chest, ad I tried to pull away. I knew this wasn't kind, funny, timid, gentle Joe… this was rowdy drunk Joe… His grip was firm, and I didn't get away, I just started to lose balance…

He let go, as soon as it registered to him that I might be falling. "Wazzamadder?" he asked, but I stumbled backwards and hit my heel off the gutter, and went flying off the edge of the building.

I closed my eyes and prepared for the impact of my head hitting the pavement, but it did not come… I fell smoothly into Andy's arms, and saw him shoot a warning glance to Joe. I struggled a little, but Andy managed to hold me in place.

He bundled me into the back of the car, got into the driving seat and started driving like a maniac!

I tried to see up to Joe, but couldn't.

Johnny turned around "Hey Roxy, babe." He said.

I couldn't do my seat belt up, so I just left it. I ignored him at first.

Andy looked really pissed off. I pointed at him and giggled.

"Help her do her seatbelt up." He muttered to Johnny.

Johnny looked at him like 'no way', but Andy looked at him hard in the face and Johnny stood up in the front (bending over, obviously) and began reaching for my seat belt.

"You SUCK!" I said before giggling at him. He ignored me, so I poked my finger up his nose… I was aiming for his forehead, but he moved…

He raised an eyebrow before slowly pulling my hand out.

Andy flew around a corner and I rolled off my seat, my stomach heaving. I knew already that we were at my house already.

"Andy…" Johnny began to say.

I puked as silently as possible on the car floor.

"What." Andy said grumpily.

"Uhh…" Johnny continued. Andy slammed on the handbrake.

"Andy?" I said, as annoyingly as I could.

"WHAT?" He yelled at me.

"I just puked in your car!" I giggled before bursting out of the door and into the house.

I could hear him yelling, but couldn't make out _what_ he was yelling.

I ran to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was all matted and messy. My make-up was smudged down my face, and I had bits of puke in my hair. I looked horrible.

I heard a door slam, before I doubled over and began to vomit again into the toilet.


	25. Chapter 25

**Hello Everyone – im thinking of writing a sequel to this one… when im done with it of course – so tell me what you think!**

**Im Sorry**

I woke up to someone shaking me. My bathroom faded into view, and I soon found that the person shaking me was Johnny.

At first I fought against him, but he was too strong.

He helped me to my feet and walked me out the room, to my room.

He sat me down on my bed. I flopped over.

"Can you sit up?" He asked.

I didn't want to talk to him, and I hated being so vulnerable in front of him.

He repeated his question. "Can you sit up?"

'I don't know' I thought to myself, still not wanting to talk to him.

"Well try." He said.

I scowled at him. 'You raped me…' I thought to myself, disgusted.

"Yeah, and im real sorry about that." He said.

"Stop reading my thoughts." I said, glaring.

"Fine, but you should learn to block 'em. How are you feeling?"

"faint." I said, plainly.

"Yeah, well you did faint, so what do you expect."

"Well why are you being grumpy with me?" I asked.

"Why?" He hissed, repeating my question as if I was the dumbest person alive to not know the answer.

"Yeah. Why."

He looked around the room uncomfortably, before shutting my bedroom door.

"Well… its hard to explain…" he said.

I tried reading his thoughts, but was deflected, just like I was with Andy.

"Well you _better_ explain." I said.

"Oh, yeah? What you gonna do about it?"

After a long silence i began to think about Andy. Where was he? How was he feeling? Loads of questions flooded into my head that I couldn't answer.

"You like him don't you." Johnny said.

"GOD DAMNIT – STOP THAT!" I yelled.

He laughed to himself. "But you do, don't you."

"Yeah? So what does it matter."

"Would it matter if I told you there's a guy downstairs who's concerned about whether or not you have alcohol poisoning? And who's probably just as confused about things as you are…?"

I looked at him. "No." I said coldly. "Because you're lying."

"You don't mean that – you think about Andy all the time – when you were passed out last night you were dreaming about him, you were even screaming… and from what I gathered the dream was about him dying… am I right?" I nodded.

"I don't think of him _all_ the time…" I tried as a pathetic protest.

"Oh, please!" Johnny scoffed. "… even when you were kissing Joe you were thinking about Andy."

"How'd you know." I asked, already knowing the answer.

We heard footsteps up the stairs and going into the spare bedroom. I knew it was Andy and tried reading his thoughts, but he deflected me like before.

"See?" Johnny said.

"Shut, up – you think you know everything, but you don't_"

My phone rang. I could hear it from down the hall… I got up and ran to get it.

Sitting on the spare bedroom floor, beside the bag that I had thrown down in a hurry last night, I found my phone and looked at the caller.

Joe.

Forgetting about Andy I cautiously picked up the phone.

"Hi." I said, shyly.

"Hi." Joe's voice came down the phone.

"Joe, I _"

"Can I come over? I really need to talk to you, and I prefer to see you in person…"

"Sure, I need to talk to you too." I said, and hung up.

I sighed and rested my head against the door frame.

"Who was that?" a familiar voice said from behind me. I turned around and saw Andy sitting in the armchair by the window.

I nearly answered, but was sure that he had read my mind anyway.

He got up out of the chair and went into my bedroom and I heard hushed voices.

Then he went back downstairs.

A few moments later I heard a knock at the door and I went to get it.

Sure enough it was Joe. "Come on in." I said, trying to smile. He tried too, but I could tell he was confused and everything too.

We went into the living room and sat down.

"Listen, I _" we both began

"Sorry, you first_" we said together again.

I put my finger on his lips and said. "I need to tell you something." I said.

He nodded, looking at the floor. I think he was relieved that he didn't have to go first.

"I…. Last night…" I didn't know what to say.

I got up and walked to the doorway, leaning against the frame, folding my arms. Joe got up and walked towards me until he was right in front of me.

"I… I know that…" again I paused. "Okay." I said, deciding to just get out with it. "We kissed. I kissed you back….but… it didn't… I didn't mean it… I did on selfish impulse…. And im so sorry…" I felt so horrible doing this… I really liked Joe. I guess you could say I loved him, but not like that… "I just want to be like we always were…" I said, wishing that the floor would open and swallow me up.

He gripped my shoulders. "But, Roxy, I felt something. Didn't you feel it too?"

I looked at the floor, knowing that if I looked into his eyes I would surely cry.

"Roxy..." he said again and I could hear the pleading in his voice. "Roxy, please say something…"

"Im sorry…" I said. "But I just don't – _can't_ think of you that way…"

He looked up biting his lip, his piercing straining.

"Joe, I_"

I moved into the hall to escape his grip.

"Joe, Im sorry."

"Roxy, don't you feel it?" he said, his voice growing louder.

I looked at him, shaking at the intensity of his voice. He walked towards me.  
Knowing I wasn't going to answer his question, he walked towards the front door.

"Joe, think of how weird it would be…" I said, trying not to make things worse, or damage his feelings.

"It wouldn't be weird." He said quietly. When he spoke again it was much louder… "Don't you get it? I love you Roxy!" He opened the door. "_You_ think about _that!"_ By now tears were rolling down his cheeks, and he slammed the door.

I heard something move, and turned to see Andy in the doorway of the kitchen, he's been listening in… I couldn't see any emotion in his face… but I could tell it was showing in mine.

Tears gathered in my eyes and I ran upstairs to my bedroom slamming the door behind me. I slid down the door and let myself cry.

What had I done?


	26. Chapter 26

**Figuring Things Out… Kinda…**

I felt so empty.

I dragged the scissors across my wrists. I wasn't trying to kill myself this time… I just needed to feel something… _anything…_

For the rest of the day I cried in my bedroom until I fell asleep.

I woke up and it was dark. I decided to get up and see if anyone was up.

Johnny was downstairs asleep on the settee. I went into the kitchen and got myself a glass of water.

I walked back upstairs and wondered where Andy was.

I guessed that he was in the spare bedroom, and I went in there… I don't know why I just felt like I needed to see him.

He was asleep in the chair by the window – I wouldn't have wanted to sleep in the bed either… after all it was still covered in blood… which led me to remembering the attic, and I wondered what was up there.

I walked further into the room and decided I would get some new sheets out of the wardrobe and re-make the bed quietly. I opened the cupboard door slightly and it made a clicking noise. I jumped, and looked over at Andy.

He was fine.

I felt weight against the door. Things had probably fallen off the shelves again… I hoped they wouldn't all fall out and make a load of noise – I didn't want to wake Andy… and there was plenty of room in the cupboard for everything to fall out, it was a really tall cupboard, reaching all the way to the ceiling.

I stole one more glance at Andy, weighing up the odds of waking him up, and decided that I would go ahead anyway – it would annoy me if I just left the sheets.

I opened the door fully and the weight against the door gave, but did not fall, it was attached to something. I made out the shape of clothing… it was spinning – oh, right. I knew what it was. It was probably Mom's coats, hanging up in there…

I couldn't make out much, as everything was pitch black (in the cupboard) so I felt for the light switch.

Movement from the chair made me flinch, and I looked at the chair… Andy was just turning… he was still asleep. He looked like he was having a nightmare. I tried seeing into his mind, but as usual was deflected. But his struggling stopped after a little while.

He must have been cold. Without thinking, I moved over to the chair. There was a blanket draped over one of the arms. I gently lifted one of his arms, and got the blanket from underneath.

I opened it out, and draped it over him. 'Sleep well Andy' I thought to myself. His face looked so peaceful now.

'Back to the sheets' I thought to myself.

I went back to the closet, fumbled for the switch and flicked it on.

What I saw horrified me.

…

"**AAAAAHHHH!"** I screeched, dropping my glass which shattered on the floor.

Andy jumped up. "Roxy, what the fuck are you…." He trailed off.

I was panicking. Sweat was gathering at my brow and tears rolled down my cheeks.

He walked over to me. I turned to him.

"ANDY…." I began, in hysterical crying. "IM SO SORRY FOR WAKING YOU – I WAS CHANGING THE SHEETS – I TURNED ON THE LIGHT – I THOUGHT IT WAS A COAT –"

"Roxy." He said, putting his hand on my shoulder.

I cried out loud, gasping for breath. He held me close, and stroked my hair therapeutically.

He looked up from me, and to the closet "Holy fuck." He said quietly.

…

I sat on the spare bed with Andy by my side. I wiped the tears from my eyes.

He was still staring into the closet.

I couldn't look at it.

"Is that…." Johnny said slowly "Your… Mom?"

"That thing… is not my Mom." I said, trying not to cry. "It was… my Mom…"

I couldn't look at it – WOULD NOT look at it.

The bloated whore swinging from a rope in the closet that resembled my mother…

Her eyes were rolled back. Her face was mutilated… there were gashes in her cheeks and her ginger hair mas matted and had blood in it.

Her make-up was smudged down her face like she had been crying, and the colour had left her.

She was in a negligée…

"Wow… MILF" Johnny said and Andy shot him a hard glance. "What… compliment…" He said, trying to shield his perverse comments.

Goose bumps spread over my skin and I started to shake.

"Whose gonna get her down…" Johnny said.

No one answered him.

"I guess I'll do it…" he said and began walking towards the closet.

"You are NOT handling my Mom." I said with disgust and I went to the closet myself and took one last look at her face before getting the scissors I had in the cupboard and cutting the rope. Her body fell and she slumped on the floor with a kind of bang, but it was muffled by the carpet.

"I think it's time to see what's in the attic…." Andy said.

…

Andy tugged on the cord and the ladder slid down.

"Right." Said Johnny. "I'll be staying down here… and if you find anything interesting let me know…"

I rolled my eyes and started up the ladder with the torch in my mouth.

Andy followed.

I shone the torch around the large room that was the size of our whole house. Where had I been?

"Over there." Andy said.

"You too!" I said. "STOP READING MY THOUGHTS!"

He looked shocked.

"Yeah, she gets real pissed about it…" I could hear Johnny say from below.

I shone my torch around the room and saw a dark shadowy bundle like I had before. "That's it…" I said to Andy pointing. He came behind me and followed my gaze.

The torch beams didn't reach very far.

I looked over at him and remembered his brief nightmare…

"Were you watching me sleep…?" He asked, dryly…

"No…." I lied, but he smiled shyly. "Okay, you had a nightmare…" I said.

He looked at the floor as if the thought of it was horrible, and just then I zoned into his mind and saw a girl, she was falling off a building and he was on top of it screaming desperately after her –

"That's private!" He snapped.

I was shocked and for a split second I couldn't say anything. "Well now you know how it feels!" I snapped back and started towards the weird bundle.

I avoided the broken glass and found that it was a sack.

It was filled with something… Something heavy… Then it had been stapled together again…

"…It's a sack… great… we were petrified for no reason at all…" I said.

"Whats in it." Andy asked. I could tell he was still pissed off with me.

I ripped the staples open, still looking at Andy, who was looking at the floor. I didn't dare read his mind again, or even try.

I looked into the bag, retched, dropping it and flew down the ladder to the bathroom to vomit.

Johnny followed me and asked me if I was okay. I said I was fine, before making my way up the ladder again.

Andy was in the same place as before and he looked really down, but I decided that now wasn't the time to ask him about it.

He saw me come up through the hatch, but didn't say anything.

He went over to the sack, and I didn't bother racing him there.

He looked into it, before swallowing hard. "Who's this, one, then…" He said dryly.

"That's my Dad."

He looked at me. "But… your Dad was_"

"My real Dad"

"Oh."

The sack was a mix of body parts. They were all spiked together and a severed head was placed triumphantly at the top.

"You wanna seal this back up…?" he asked.

"Sure." I said and pulled the draw string that had not been used before…. Ah.. .that's why… when you pulled the drawstring, the head hung out of the top, with its tongue out and its eyes rolled back.

Someone else was coming up the ladder. "Anything interesting – bloody hell!" Johnny exclaimed.

"Ill wait downstairs!" He said before clambering down the ladder again.

I placed the bag on its side and turned to leave the attic, holding my head.

"This still leaves one problem…" Andy said. "Who did all this…"

I looked at him. "I have a hunch… I just hope im wrong" I said, swallowing.

…

"So what are we_" BRRRRIINGG!

I picked up the phone. It wasn't my mobile this time.

"Hello, is Miss Roxy there?"

"Speaking, may I ask who's calling?"

"Yes, it's Officer Barnes from the station, I want to ask you about your father, is it okay if I come over?"

"Uh… Yeah that's fine…" I said and the line went dead.

"What was that about?" Andy asked.

"Some 'Officer Barnes' who wants to speak to me about my Dad…" I said.

…

"We found him yesterday afternoon… and we need to give you some things, uhhh…"

She reached into her bag, producing a load of paper and handed it over to me.

I looked at it, scanning it briefly, Andy reading over my shoulder.

"This is my Dad's will…" I said.

"Indeed." The woman said grimly.

"My Dad's not dead… right?"

"You didn't know? I was told you knew?"

"Well I don't, so whats happening!" I said, feeling a lump come to my throat.

"We found your father hanging from a lamp post 3 days ago… he had a suicide note hanging from him – I have a photo copy here if you wanna…" She reached into her bag again and produced another piece of paper.

She handed it to me. It read:

_**Im sorry it had to end this way. I didn't mean to kill them, it just happened.**_

_**I know that whoever finds this will report this to the police – which is why im turning myself in. **_

_**Do not pester my daughter in any way or I will kill you all!**_

_**Again I will apologise, but this time to my daughter. She deserves better than this, which is why I changed my will. **_

_**You will find Jimmy the bastard in the attic. And you'll find my wife in the closet. **_

_**I also hope that my daughter will regain her memory – and for that she must find Andy Six. **_

_**I hope that the child I spent 17 or 18 years of my life bringing up is happy. I never remember how old she is… **_

I looked up from the weird note. "What was that about?"

I looked at Andy. He looked uncomfortable.

"That was your father's suicide note." The officer said.

"Oh." I said.

I took another look at the will. "So I get all this…?"

"Yes. You have an appointment with a solicitor tomorrow at 10. Here is a map. I have to leave now."

With that she got up and left…

"Uhhh…" I said and looked at Andy.

He looked just as confused as I did. "Well that was… sudden…" I said.


	27. Chapter 27

**Solicitors…**

"How do I look?" I asked Andy, looking at him through the mirror.

"You look… great…" He said awkwardly.

I was wearing a black skirt and a black jacket and a white shirt – I didn't want to look like a scruffy kid!

Naturally, Andy was coming too – I wanted him to come.

"What about me?" He asked, smiling, coming to stand next to me in the mirror.

I smiled and turned to him. "I never thought you'd look sexy in a suit…"

He looked at me a little shocked. "Sexy?"

"Definitely." I said, turning, and left him looking at himself in the mirror.

…

"This is it…" I said looking unsurely out the window.

Andy got out the car and so did I. I looked toward the tall formidable building before me and sighed.

"What is it?" he asked

"Well this is gonna be boring…" I said and began walking. "Let's just get it over with."

…

"So we're done?" I asked, relieved that this 3 hour will thing was finally over.

"Yes." The woman said.

I nearly jumped for joy when I remembered where I was.

Dad had left me all his money. And apparently he'd left me a mansion in LA that my Mom never knew about… His parents died and left it to him, so he left it to me…

He'd left me literally everything of his.

Next there was something surprising.

"Would you like to see what your mother left to you?" She asked.

"Sure… but I didn't think that had… come through yet…"

She went over to some cabinets and produced a file.

She then laid it on the table and began to tell me what I was getting…

…

"And that's it?" I asked weary eyed after another 2 hour talk about what I had received from my Mother.

Andy was looking really bored.

"Yes, that's it." The lady said.

I sighed with relief. "So you mean I can go now? You mean… I could potentially move straight into that house, and put all that money into my account….?"

"Yes. Although the money has already been put into your account, so there's no worries there."

I got up and gathered together all my things. "Thank you for your help." I said and turned to leave.

"I believe you forgot something." She said.

I turned. "What is it?"

"Your boyfriend."

"Oh, he's not my…" I stopped myself and walked over to the peacefully sleeping Andy. He'd stayed up forever worrying about me. I shook his shoulder. "Andy?"

The woman smiled. She was middle aged and her face looked tired.

"Ah fuck it." I said and lifted him out of the chair bridal style. The woman laughed.

"Your strong." She said.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that – thanks again for all your help." I said and walked towards the door with an extremely tall Andy draped over my arms! It looked ridiculous.

I got him to the car and needed to find his phone.

I set him out on the back seat and smiled.

Now… where was his phone…

Shit. It was in his pocket.

_Don't think._ I told myself.

I took a deep breath and reached into his trouser pocket. This looked and felt like something seriously sick!

His pockets were really deep. He moaned softly, and moved his head. I couldn't help but laugh.

Oh – wait… damn it was just his keys… But I guessed I would need them too…

So I took them out of his pocket and started again. He moaned again several times.

I felt something hard and groped it hoping it was his phone, but when he woke up suddenly I realised it wasn't.

I cringed.

"What the fuck are you playing at?" He cried, startled.

"I was trying to find your phone!" I cried back, trying not to laugh.

"THAT'S NOT MY PHONE_"

"Well I know that now!"

"Why did you want my phone anyway?"

"I didn't want to wake you up, so I was going to ring up Sandra and ask her to teleport you and your car back, and I mean I could walk because… well she doesn't know me so its kinda weird to ask her to teleport me back – anyway, Im not sure why your so grumpy – you seemed to be enjoying it to me!"

He looked at me gone out and went red pretty quick. "I was not."

"What was with all the moaning – I mean 'oooohhhhh'" I said mimicking him.

He looked away and laughed, I could tell he was embarrassed.

"Well are you gonna thank me?" I asked, not believing the words were flying out of my mouth.

"For what?"

"The hand job."

"WHAT?" He yelped. And faster than any human I got my phone out and took a picture of the expression on his face.

"Sorry – I just had to get a picture of that!" I said and got out of the back seat and into the drivers seat, shutting his door.

"So… you weren't really groping me while I was asleep?" he asked.

"Of course I wasn't!" I cried in defence.

"Wait what are you doing?

"Im driving you home." I said and put the keys in the ignition. I pulled off the handbrake and remembered what peddle did what.

"Look, you're tired, go back to sleep – you'll be fine!" I assured him.

"Only if you're not gonna grope me again." He laughed and went to sleep.

Within moments he was asleep.

I turned on the CD player and found myself singing along to AC/DC's It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock 'n' roll.

I didn't see him stirring, until I looked through the rear view mirror and saw his eyes studying my face.

I hurriedly looked away and tried not to go red, even though I could feel my face burning. "I, uh… didn't know you were awake…" I said, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

"Don't be embarrassed – you have a nice voice."

"No I don't." I laughed.

"Yes you do_"

"Hey look we're home!" I yelled, trying to change the subject.

He rolled his eyes and got out the car.

When we got back in, Nicolas had already disposed of the bodies – I didn't ask how…


	28. Chapter 28

**Don't know what to name this bit.**

"Sooooooooooo….. How've you two been getting along? Anything interesting happen? Anything_"

"You read my thoughts, didn't you?" I said dryly to Johnny.

"Yeah… but, nice… I mean 'finding your phone'? Seriously?"

Andy looked uncomfortable. "It wasn't like that." He said, and I could see him blushing.

"Oh, come on – you liked it!" I said before walking out of the hall, my boots clacking on the floor.

I went into the kitchen and I could hear a load of hushed whispering and laughing.

I put a pizza in the oven and went to see what they were up to. They were in the spare bedroom… laughing about something…

I couldn't make out much, just broken fragments of conversation.

"Seriously man… well done…"

"…..Wasn't that much…"

"…Liked it….?"

"Well, yeah… maybe she didn't….."

"….She feeling you up…?"

"…Okay… I get your point…"

"…..Ask her….?"

"…Sure…."

"Ask me what?" I asked, barging in.

"How do you know we were talking about you?" Challenged Johnny, readily.

I didn't know what to say. "Because I… read your mind, Johnny and you were imagining me giving Andy a_"

"HOWD YOU KNOW?" He yelped.

"What?" Andy yelped "You were imagining me and Roxy….?"

"…LEAVE ME ALONE…!" Johnny yelled and turned his reddening face towards the window.

Andy started laughing.

I looked at him and he smiled. I couldn't help but smile back. "Pizza's in 10." I said and went back downstairs.

I walked down the hall and stopped to listen what they were saying. All I got out of it was 'JUST GO!' which had been hissed by Johnny and then I heard someone get up and walk towards the door.

I ran downstairs not wanting them to know I had been eavesdropping.

I was in the kitchen making myself some coffee when Andy came in.

"hey." He said.

"Hey." I said.

"Want some help?" He asked.

"With what…" I said dryly, then realised how horrible I had just sounded. I whirled around, about to apologise and my cup smashed on the floor. I moaned miserably. Why did everything I did go wrong?

I knelt down on the floor and began picking up the small shards of porcelain.

"Can I help you now?" Andy asked laughing slightly.

"It's fine." I said, before kicking myself again when I realised that one of the reasons me and Andy hadn't gotten close, was because I kept pushing him away.

"I…. I have something to tell you…" He said, suddenly growing uneasy.

I was suddenly nervous. He was gonna tell me that he had a girlfriend. I looked at the floor.

"I… I have to go back to Hollywood."

I looked up at him, startled and a piece of mug slipped and I cut my finger. Andy was already at my side helping me pick things up. My finger bled and Andy looked up at me. A tear slid down my cheek. He was leaving?

"Is it deep?" He asked, taking my hand. I snatched it away from him. He looked shocked.

"Does it hurt?" He asked.

I looked away so he couldn't see me cry. "Yeah, it hurts." I said bitterly, thinking about him leaving.

I couldn't believe he was leaving.

"Oh. Right." Andy said. He tipped the mug into the bin and came over to me.

He put his hand on my shoulder and I stood up and left.

"Look. _Roxy..._" He called after me.

I stormed outside and went to the park.

I sat down on one of the benches and screamed.

I screamed louder and louder. I put my head in my hands and cried for ages.

Tears just flooded down my cheeks and I let them. No one came here. I was safe. I was alone.

Why was he leaving? It's probably just band stuff. But it still hurt. I was probably never going to see him again after that. I was just someone who he would want to wipe from his memory. I looked up at the sky. It was grey and threatening to rain. It hadn't been like that this earlier…

Another tear ran down my cheek as it began to rain heavily.

I was soon drenched.

Just then a familiar voice behind me.

"Roxy?"

"I'm sorry Andy." I cried. "I'm sorry for being so selfish."

He walked over to me calmly and sat down on the drenched bench. His hair was dripping.

"The band needs me_"

"_**I **_need you_!"_ I yelled loudly, looking at him straight on. He looked up at me, eyes wide. "**I **_**did**_** mean it! I did mean it when I said I loved you – I did mean it when I kissed you - Andy you mean EVERYTHING to me!" **I said and that was all I could manage, before I burst into tears again and buried my face in my hands.

He didn't say anything. He just took his jacket off and put it around my shoulders. He then put his arm around me. "Let's go back." He said.

I looked at him defiantly. He knew I wouldn't move so he smiled that irresistible smile.

He lifted me bridal style and walked me out of the park. "Put me down." I said, trying not to laugh.

"Nope." He said, smiling down at me.

I looked up and giggled. "Pizza should be done by now." I wrapped my arms around his neck, so I wasn't just supported by his arms.

"Knowing Johnny, the pizza should be _gone_ by now!" He said.

He carried me all the way home and when we got in Johnny was eating the pizza.

I was still in Andy's arms when we got in the kitchen. Johnny whistled.

I laughed. "Wow. You're in a good mood." Johnny said.

I didn't bother making a reply.

"So have ya left us any pizza?" I asked.

"Nah." he said taking the last slice.

I looked at Andy. He raised an eyebrow. "Im not hungry anyway." I said.

I went up to my room.

After a little while Johnny was calling up to me.

I went on to the landing to see what he wanted.

"I'm going." He said.

"Where?"

"Home…"

"Oh." I said. I walked down the stairs and towards him. Andy was slouching in the doorway having a beer.

"See ya later, man." He said.

"Bye." I said.

"See ya, Roxy, babe." He said.

Johnny left without another word.

I felt sure I would see him again, so I didn't dwell on it. Instead, I went back to my room.

…

Someone was moving me. My eyes fluttered. Andy was sitting on my bed beside me, and it was dusk outside.

"Hey. Welcome back." Andy smiled.

"What?" I said.

"You passed out." He said.

"Oh, really, that's okay then." I said and went to get up, before grasping his shoulder. He grabbed me by the waste and steadied me.

"Why are you passing out?" he asked me.

"Because…" I didn't know what to say. I couldn't tell him its because I wasn't eating, but I was pretty sure he'd guess. "What day is it?"

"Monday." He said.

I looked at the floor. Thinking that if I was at school I would be in human physiology… how boring… I hoped I would never go back there.

"Look. You gotta go back. I mean… im gonna be gone… and you might as well – I mean, c'mon you gotta go back and graduate…"

"I know." I snapped.

"Look, what is it?" he said. I sat down beside him.

"When do you have to leave?" I said changing the subject again.

"…Tomorrow…"

"_**TOMORROW?"**_

"Yeah."

I didn't even try to hide my tears.

He wrapped his arms around me and I let him.

Tears fell on his jacket. He drew away from me and I looked up at him.

He put his hand to my face, and brushed my tears away.

"Roxy_"

"Get out, Andy." I said.

"What?" he said in a quiet voice.

I couldn't face him. I had told him I loved him at least 3 times now and he hadn't even reacted. And now he was leaving. I wasn't going to see him again because he would always be busy with the band, or he would always have something better to do than hang out with a messed up teenage girl.

"Please." I said. "Just leave me alone. And you know what? Tomorrow when you leave, don't even bother saying goodbye – I know you don't give a fuck! You're all the same – 'oh, I love my fans, my fans mean everything' NO WE FUCKING DON'T! YOU COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT ME – YOU JUST GOT IN TOO DEEP!"

He stood up, left, and didn't say another thing. He slammed the door shut.

I buried my face in my hands and screamed in frustration.

I cried some more… and before I knew it I was asleep again.


	29. Chapter 29

**Last chapter – yay! Im going to write a sequel! Im very excited! I hope you are too!**

**Leave me a comment to tell me what you think to it all and what I could improve on and if you want a sequel… I mean im gonna write one anyway, but…yeah… tell me what you think…**

**School… Again…**

My stomach churned as I walked through the school gates again. I could feel loads of pairs of eyes on me and that made me feel even worse.

People had already started whispering. I pushed open the door to the seniors block and saw something that made my stomach flip completely!

Someone had plastered the walls with pictures. Of me. And Joe. Kissing. And Dancing.

I went around the boards ripping the pictures off the walls and crumpling them up, throwing them on the floor.

When I got to the classroom it was even worse. Every desk had one glued to it. Every bulletin board was covered in it.

I sat down and buried my face in my hands. This was the worst day ever.

I mean Andy was leaving and I hadn't even said a word to him at breakfast. Then there was all this, on top of everything else that had happened.

Just then the door crashed open.

Shona walked in.

"Oh. Your back. I hoped you'd committed suicide." She said before slamming her books down. Then she saw what was on the desk and burst out laughing.

"_You_ kissed a _faggot_? Or rather a _faggot_ kissed _you_? Wait until July hears this!" she said and whipped out her mobile.

In a moment July was in the classroom, red and out of breath from her mad dash up here.

"OMG!" she squeaked. "Im telling Amy!" Then she whipped out her phone.

Soon enough Amy was here who did exactly the same as July and Shona.

And then the whole class was there… apart from Joe and Mal.

After at least half an hour of them taking the micky out of me, Mal burst through the door.

His nose was broken, his face was all bruised, he had a black eye, and his lip was bleeding.

People gasped as he came through the door. He staggered across the room and hid in the corner.

I stood up and walked to him. "Mal?"

He looked up at me then away again.

"Mal, are you okay?"

"Fuck off, Roxy." He said simply.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I asked.

"Just fuck off."

I shrugged and walked away.

Moments later Joe burst through the door. "Where is he?" he asked the first guy he saw.

"Where is he – I swear to baby fucking Jesus I'll kill him!" he yelled. He spotted Mal cowering in the room and stalked over to him.

"Oh, there you are!" He said and grabbed him by the hair (which was followed by a gasp from the class) before pulling him up. Mal winced and started breathing heavier than before.

"Tell me why ya did it." Joe said. "_**TELL ME!"**_ By now the whole class was silent and watching with anticipation.

"Oh I forgot. Your too much of an ass hole to speak!" he said and punched Mal in the stomach.

I gasped loudly, and Joe turned around.

He was untouched.

"Roxy?"

He dropped Mal and walked over to me.

"Roxy, I thought you weren't coming back." He said. Someone whistled loudly which started the chatter again.

"Where's Posy? How is she? Haven't seen her in a while." He said looking at the floor.

"She…uh….. She…. She moved school…" I said. "what about this? What's all this stuff about, why are you beating up Mal? And why are all these pictures everywhere?" I said awkwardly.

"Look around you, Roxy, what do you notice?" He said, growing more pissed by the second.

"Uhh… pictures… of us…" I said.

"Yeah." He said "I'll give ya 5 guesses as to who's behind it."

"No." I gasped.

"yep. That little cunt spread em round – someone paid him to kick up the dirt on us." He said.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I sat down.

"About…uhh… a couple days ago…" I began.

"yeah, its fine." He said.

"You still my mate?" I asked, feeling slightly pathetic if anything.

"Yeah." He said and I hugged him. I felt him tense a little, and then relax into my hug… he hugged me back.

Then the teacher walked in. She saw mal and just ignored him. Then she saw me.

"Oh. Your back. Right, you'll have to get all the work you missed. Im not responsible, do it yourself." She said and stood at the front, took the register and told us to go to class.

I said goodbye to Joe, as we had different classes, and went straight to Economics.

I found myself gnawing at my pencil, daydreaming.

I thought of Andy. I remembered how he had said that he had gone here. That made me smile. I thought of him leaving again and tears sprung in my eyes.

"Awwww! Baby Emo cries!" Shona crowed which was backed by Amy and July and a few other bitches.

The teacher looked up at her remark.

"Are you okay?" Mrs D'Veereey asked me. She had always liked me because I was good at economics.

"Im fine." I said.

She came over to my desk as everyone got back to work. "Hey go take a time out." She said and smiled.

I thanked her and left.

I went into the girls' lavatory and splashed my face with cold water. That woke me up. Then I re did my make-up.

I then went down to the food hall and got some food. The head cook liked me, because he knew my Mom… I'm not even going to try and know how… I think that's pretty obvious…

Then I went back to Economics, but was later dismissed again. Mrs D'Veereey said that she would photo-copy the work for me and give it to me tomorrow. She said there was no point in me taking the class, because I looked pretty out of it.

I went to the locker room and was dismayed to find a bunch of notes on my locker. They had all built up since I had gone, I guessed. I mean when I was there before, there was only about 1 a day. But now there was layers and layers of them, including pictures of me and Joe. I ripped them off and slammed my locker. I stormed out of the locker room and out of the school, despite the receptionist's plea for me to tell her where I was going.

The school was surrounded by forest. I was the only one who really ever went deep into them. Everyone else just threw litter around the sides. No-one gave a damn here, and besides, someone had spread this weird rumour that it was haunted, and (because the trees were so dense, and dark) no one really wanted to go in there, to find out!

After a 5 minute quick-walk, I reached a clearing, I had been here so many times before. It was only a tiny clearing, but there was an old, stone fountain here. It still worked. I sat down on the stone bench around it, and rested my head back on the rim.

So peaceful. So quiet - "Y'know, I always used to come here when I needed to think…"

**Goodbye**

Andy. Sweet, gentle, mysterious Andy. I ran to him. He met me with a hug.

I clung to him, and he held me back.

"Andy, im sorry." I said, my voice muffled, by his jacket.

"For what?"

"For being such a bitch!" I said, not believing that he hadn't said something like 'yeah, well, you should be!' "I was horrible to you – and I didn't mean it, really… I just…" I couldn't finish, as I felt tears already prickling in my eyes.

He smoothed out my hair, like always.

"I was looking for you." He said. "I asked the receptionist what class you'd be in, she wouldn't tell me so I used my powers on her and she told me that you were in economics. I looked there but your teacher said that she'd given you a time out. So I waited outside the girls toilets for you, but I think I missed you. Then I went back to your economics class and she said she'd dismissed you. Then I went to the locker room and saw a load of shit on a locker and knew It was yours… And then… I realised where you would be…" He said.

He drew away to look at me. By now tears were falling down my face. "How long have you got?" I asked him

"An hour." He said.

I looked at the floor miserably and thought of my life without him.

"Hey, I'll see you again!" He laughed "Its not like im leaving you forever!"

Wet tears rolled down my cheeks, full of regret and hurt.

He took my hand and I held his back.

"C'mon." he said. "Let's get you home."

He walked me home and we sat down and had lunch… very early…

Andy and me were cuddled up on the settee, talking, when an alarm went off on his phone.

"What's that for?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"I gotta go in 10 minutes…" he said with a sad smile on his face.

I pulled away from him and got off the settee, padding across the floor in my bare feet.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I need the toilet." I lied, not looking at him and still walking away.

I went up to my room and cut deep into my arm, crying. It bled everywhere, on to my carpet and bed sheets.

I heard Andy coming up the stairs and ran to lock my door.

He tried the handle and found that id locked it.

"Roxy...?" he called softly. "Can I come in."

I panicked. He was going to see my arm and get all pissed about it. "Im… uh… changing… ill be two seconds!" I said and rummaged through my drawer to find a hoody and some jeans.

I quickly put them on and pulled the sleeves down over my hands. Then I got out some foundation and put it on my face, as it had been red and blotchy from crying.

I walked to the door, and unlocked it. He pushed it open and came in.

"You've been up here a while." He said. "Are you okay?"

"Im fine." I lied. "I hate my uniform, so I decided to change."

"Yeah… I hated that uniform too…. I, uh… I have to go now."

I looked at him startled. NOW? But… But…I couldn't think of a reason for him to stay, but I needed him!

"Cant you stay a little longer?" I protested.

"No, im sorry. Oh! I almost forgot." He said and reached into his trouser pocket. "I got a little something for ya."

"What is it?" I asked, taking the quickly wrapped small object.

"open it." He said.

I looked at him and then back at the present.

I tore open the wrapping slowly, and found a little black box. I opened it. A web cam.

"Now we can web-chat!" He said, smiling.

"Thanks." I said and hugged him. "So… you mean you wont forget and everything…?"

"Yeah. You're my vampire, right?" He asked jokingly. Even if he wanted to forget, he couldn't. "Which reminds me." He said. "You need to drink. I know you wont do it by yourself."

He sat down on my blood-stained sheets (he clearly hadn't noticed yet) and pulled his hair back.

"No, Andy, I couldn't – not right before you go!" I cried.

He looked at me, "Yes you can…. There's something else, still isn't there." He said, remembering when I couldn't drink from him. I nodded.

"Then tell me what it is!" He pleaded.

"We don't have time." I said, thankful for the first time that he was leaving, so I didn't have to explain to him that it's because I love him.

"Well im concerned, Roxy. I'll tell them to wait – I need to know whats wrong with you!"

I looked at the floor, trying to think of an excuse.

"Don't give me an excuse – I want the truth!" he said.

"STOP READING MY THOUGHTS!" I cried helplessly.

"Then tell me. Are you nervous? Don't you like it?"

"**OF COURSE I LIKE IT!" **I yelled. "It's because….i… I don't know, i… lets just try it again. You first." I said and sat down beside him.

He held me close to him and i felt his lips brush gently over my skin. Then his teeth pierced into me. I felt the blood leaving my body… but I wasn't enjoying it like I had before.

He drew away, knowing that I wasn't enjoying it.

"I know what it is." He said. Shock filled me as I knew that he knew.

"Im sorry." I said. It was the only thing that I could say.

"Why? You're just confused about it… because when you like another vampire, then when you drink it's… unexplainable…" he said.

I looked at the clock. He should have gone 10 minutes ago.

"I know." He said, standing up.

He stepped on the patch of carpet that I had stained.

"Roxy." He sighed. "Why do you keep doing this?"

I shrugged and turned away from him, feeling tears spring to my eyes.

He knew… and he didn't care… he didn't say 'I love you' or even how he felt about it.

"Well… ill call you when I get there…" he said sadly and left.

A few minutes later I heard his car engine start. I ran down the stairs, tears rolling down my face, and fled out the house.

He looked up from the wheel, startled and I stood motionless in the doorway.

He took off his seat belt, and opened the door. He looked confused. He got out of the car and walked towards me, realisation flooding into his eyes.

Without a word he took me by the waist, and kissed me gently.

When he pulled away he looked at me oddly, as if to say 'don't you love me?'.

"I love you, Andy." I said, and kissed him back. It was long and urgently passionate. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and we hugged for a while, too.

A tear rolled down my face again. "But we cant be together."

"WHY?" He cried.

"Because… you… I… I want to find myself first… and for now… all I want is to be your friend…" I said.

Again, realisation flooded into his face. He smiled. "I understand." He said, in a sad kind of way.

"I just wanna be friends too…" he said.

I smiled and hugged him one last time. "Go on!" I said. "Go, they'll be waiting for you."

He kissed me lightly on the forehead and walked away without saying something.

He opened his car door, and turned towards me. "Bye, Roxy…" he said.

"Bye…" I said.

He got in his car, and pulled out of the drive way.

He stopped before he left and yelled out the open window. "I'll web-chat with you when I can!" and waved as he drove away.

I waved too, smiling…

I felt… I don't know… a little less confused. And although I wasn't sure if he was really okay… I knew we would always be friends… no matter how weird things got…

**Back to normal?**

So Andy left. He called me like he said he would… and things went back to normal.

We talked lots, actually. Sometimes other band members would be there and I would speak to them too.

I went to school. I hung out with Joe and the other guys…

I guess you could say…I was home…


End file.
